Shhh!!! Mental health – don’t talk about it!

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Communication gaps and child’s mental health

If your child had a cold, you’d look for the right syrup in your medicine cabinet. If the kid hurt his knee, you’d fetch cotton and Dettol to clean up the wound. If there are lice in your child’s hair, you’ll search and buy the suitable anti lice kit. However, if the kid has trouble expressing himself or if the child is not able to understand in school or talk freely with people around her, the reaction is to either ignore the problem or scare them into performing better.

Why do we Indian parents have such a hard time dealing with mental problems? Why is it that instead of helping our children through these difficult times, we abandon them because of our own irrational prejudices?

The stigma associated with mental health

Stigma Meaning – A mark of shame!!!

My child cannot be sick!!! Do you ever say this to a doctor if your child is running a fever??

No … you instead look for the best doctor and avail the most suited medication for treatment. However, when it comes to problems related to their social, emotional or psychological well–being, it is all a hushed – hushed topic.

This lack of understanding, compassion and communication makes the problem even bigger than it has to be.

Mental health of children and young adults

Psychological issues do not mean that the person is mad and needs to be institutionalized or disbarred from society. They have varying impacts and in the majority of the cases, the impact isn’t severe. In fact, if treated well in time and dealt with cautiously, the symptoms can be managed and the issues can be gradually minimalized.

Communication & social skills of children suffering from mental health challenges

The communication gap is the biggest challenge when it comes to diagnosing & treating children and young adults. On account of the stigma attached with the problem, a large majority of kids facing these issues aren’t even diagnosed properly. Parents are too worried about their societal image and thus instead of assimilating the essence of the problem, they resort to evasion tactics. The desire to ignore and hide the problem allows the poison to spread.

Even the children themselves are scared of this ignorant public outlook and thus find it unsafe to share their problems with anybody. Their silence takes different forms – some face anxiety and depression, while others opt for a more stubborn approach, where they end up hurting themselves and others around them.

Foster an environment of empathy and acceptance

We the parents, educators and the community have to be more accepting. We are all mature adults here and it is imperative that we be more caring and empathetic towards the problems these children and young adults are facing. Mental health discussions aren’t and shouldn’t be considered taboo. As a society, we ought to grow and that shall only happen when we promote life driven by open conversations regarding all fields including mental health in children and adults.

While the sun hid, old friends showed up for each other

by with No Comment Uncategorized

From kindergarten to school to college, there are so many teachers we encounter in this one life. While most of them are more or less hazy reflections from the past, few are etched in our hearts forever. She could be the super stylish Mrs. Veena who wore the most amazing kurtis or the good old Raghu sir who was always more interested in his kachori than the laws of physics.

Irrespective of how we remember them or why they left an impression, the one true fact is that teachers are a super important factor that shapes our personalities. The one motivational story that Jha sir narrated almost every other week or be it the emphasis that Sirohi ma’am laid on cleaner language, we are a result of the guidance we got from our educators.

Someone rightly said that a good education can change anyone. A good teacher can change everything!!!

A teacher brought hundreds together

Recently during a solar eclipse, hundreds came together to watch the sun hide in shadows. They didn’t just show up to witness the eclipse, they came for their teacher. Since 1978, their science teacher had been motivating them to learn about the science behind solar eclipse, by promising a watch party at the next event. And now after 46 years since his first commitment, when the universe finally prepared for the eclipse, he prepared to host the party he had been promising for almost half a century. Through a public announcement, he fulfilled his promise and fostered universal trust in the culture of learning.

While the teacher didn’t expect so many to turn up, students proved how his teachings remained with them. We grow up with a special place dedicated in our hearts for the years we spent learning and this reunion validated the fact. The get together was not about the eclipse; it was rather an expression of gratitude for the guru!

This change however could be for better or for worse!!!

While a good teacher can phenomenally shape our future, an ignorant or tired mentor could work in the undesired direction. Pupils willingly or unwillingly tend to follow in their mentor’s footsteps and if this mentor is not up to the task, the detrimental impact could be lasting.

Teaching philosophy @ Conversation Club – Patience & Persistence

“Education is not to reform students or amuse them, or to make them expert technicians. It is to unsettle their minds, widen their horizons, inflame their intellects, teach them to think straight, if possible.”

Robert M. Hutchins

We comprehend the value of the impact a mentor has on the life of the kid. Early years are especially important and demand diligent tact and patience. In a field like communication, the impact of a teacher is much more strategic. The discussions are largely around practical aspects of life and communication skills training and thus the focus is on the delivery of lessons wrapped around integrity and excellence.

Communication skills enable growth & mental health!

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Being able to express improves self-image and imparts confidence in kids.

Communication skills training is imperative for the young ones for numerous reasons. While better communication skills help in every field, when it comes to mental health, the ability to communicate effectively has quite a few advantages. For a growing kid, self-image and confidence are vital ingredients of development and these elements are strongly linked to the child’s ability to effectively communicate in his / her environment. Thus, when it comes to communication skills training, special attention from the very start is a mandate.

Communication gaps & mental health

It seems natural that kids talk and convey their message; so what is the whole fuss about communication skills? Well yes, kids talk and they try to send out the message, but the aspect that demands attention is if they are actually able to convey the right message, comprehend what is being said and what happens if they are not!

To understand better, take the case of an infant. The baby is too young to use words or sign language and thus resorts to crying whenever anything is needed. Parents eventually get accustomed to these signs and the baby’s schedule and thus comply as per their understanding to satisfy the baby. Eventually, this child is expected to make use of spoken words and adequate sentences to express. The growth seems natural and perhaps in the safety of the home environment and in the language used at home, kid is able to convey the thoughts.

However, as the kid grows and moves out into the real world, things change quite rapidly. From physical surroundings to people, from language to mannerisms, everything changes drastically. Further clubbed with competition and academic pressures, many kids find it quite challenging to maintain pace.

How can communication skills help maintain the needed wellbeing?

This challenge which is posed by the outside world, can be countered by enhancing the communication skills. Communication skills training works on a very simple formula.

Key components:

  • To be able to say / write the desired message using the correct grammar & sentence structure.
  • Ability to patiently listen to others.
  • Capability to hear and understand what is being said, including the meaning of unsaid words and used language tones.
  • Respond in an appropriate manner, using the right set of words.

Crying for everything might work for a 1 year old, but a 10 year old or a teenage does not have the luxury to simply replace words with sounds. An authentic expression of thoughts is the only solution to the problem. The mentioned components, when suitably mixed, provide the needed communication support for enhanced self-image and self-monitored positive expression.

Why Conversation Club for communication skills training?

The focus at Conversation Club is imparting the needed elements of communication, while strictly working as per the individual child’s needs. Customized practical communication sessions for kids ensure learning at a reasonable pace. We understand their struggles and provide a communicative curriculum that enables learning & development.

Packed everything for survival in an English speaking world?

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Be conversation ready with Conversation Club!

An actual conversation refers to a meaningful exchange of thoughts and emotions between two adults. While we all yearn for this skill, communication these days has taken many different forms, thereby complicating the underlying rules.

We are being judged by the way we communicate!

Communication skills have always been an integral part of our personality. No wonder that in the current global era, which is largely driven by technology, communication skills go way beyond the basic ability to speak. The way we articulate our thoughts and deliver the message is of critical importance. Furthermore, English has been accepted by majority as the language driving the scenario. Be it on a personal or professional front, a speaker with a strong grasp of the English language and thus polished communication skills has an upper hand.

Be it initiating a dialogue with a gym instructor or a casual tête-à-tête with a possible matrimonial prospect or an online sales call, conversing in English language is a mandate. However, communication skills training is not just mastering the rules of the language, it entails specialization in the art of expression.

The art of articulation

Good communication skills go way beyond answering questions in small standard sentences or replying to an email in a couple of copied phrases. A skilled communicator is trained in the art of conversations. Instead of opting to text a few words and emojis, a trained English language speaker is confident enough to pick up the phone and connect over a call.

Communication skills training provides the needed practice and thus confidence to contribute meaningfully. Practical conversation skills help in every aspect of life. One who is able to assimilate the essence of a discussion is naturally able to participate better. Getting a hang of the language makes one a better listener and thus a better communicator. No wonder, in relevant managerial positions, requiring team management, a candidate adept at communication skills is universally preferred.

Even in a student’s life, communication skills play a fundamental role. Kids are currently facing a lot of competition in every arena; with expertise in English language skills, the journey to success is quite streamlined. In fact, psychologists are of the opinion that the ability to effectively communicate can also lead to positive mental health. By streamlining relationships and empowering young adults with tools of persuasion, conflict resolution and safe expression, communication skills enhance the overall quality of life. 

Travel the road with Conversation Club!!!

Why conversation club for communication skills training? Well, the answer is quite simple. This is a learning channel that focuses on the imperative practical application of the English language. While the basics are gradually worked upon, each session is designed around the functional aspects of communication. Everyday language requirements are a top priority. 

Furthermore, the sessions are customized by trained language experts to inculcate topics of interest. These discussion based sessions ensure assimilation of all relevant aspects of the communication skills training, without the mundane learning rules.

Are our lives a testament to the hollow pyrrhic victories?

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Every day is a battle; we wake up to the shrill sound of the alarm clock, spend the day completing one task after another and go back to bed at night, once again setting up the alarm clock. The day just doesn’t seem enough and life goes by. We win accolades, garner compliments and everyday inch towards a successful tomorrow. All steps are taken to fulfill the dream of the ‘perfect tomorrow’.

As glittery as it appears, has anybody ever lived this perfect tomorrow??

If I could just get that promotion, all will be sorted. Only if I could impress the boss, I’d have better prospects. Let me improve my grades just by a bit and the admissions will be all streamlined. A slightly bigger house, with better closet space will sort it all out. Another couple of kilos gone and I’ll look perfect. One more degree to the portfolio and my practice will flourish. Let me save enough for an international trip and I’ll be happy. Only if I had enough to buy those beautiful earrings.

We all constantly con ourselves with such promises as we live. We continue to convince us that there is a recipe for the perfect life and that concocting the desired ingredients will lead to indefinite happiness. And thus we keep setting up battles for us; a new achievement, a new challenge, a new effort and all will be in place. The desire to win these battles consumes us in entirety, but the ‘perfect tomorrow’, seems to keep drifting away with every win.

Pyrrhic victory – Winning the battle || Losing the war

How is that possible? What kind of an idiot would lose after winning the battle? The king Pyrrhus of Epirus won the battle. He defeated his opponent, however alongside he also lost everybody he loved and trusted. He lost his friends and commanders who helped him win. Though victorious he was battered and was left with no will to continue the journey of life.

Why don’t we stand up to these battles? Why do we keep fighting?

Life doesn’t have to be a defeated war. We keep pushing ourselves with the idea of a better tomorrow, but in the process, we are brutally sacrificing the day that we could have lived.

Instead of cherishing what we have, we are running behind the every next goal. Instead of enjoying a sumptuous home cooked meal with kids today, we are slaving the extra hours, in hopes of a fancy hotel meal in times to come. The fear of missing out on future joys is so enormous that the simple pleasures that we can live today are being brutally sacrificed.

The urge to go on after these endless battles is like an addiction. We fight so much that the whole idea of actually enjoying the fruits of these battles seems intimidating. To ensure that the guarantees of a fulfilled tomorrow never end, we forget to live the beautiful today that we have created.

Life is precious and all we have is now. Stay for a minute and enjoy every shade it offers!!  

The social media honey trap – how to break the addiction?

by with No Comment Uncategorized

If you can feel phantom vibrations, it is time for a radical detox!!

Addiction is a strong, compulsive urge to repeatedly engage in a particular consumption behavior, despite adequate knowledge of the negative consequences, thus falling into the dependency trap. Until recently, addiction was associated with drugs, alcohol, tobacco substances, but lately a new addiction forming substance has been added to the list. The drug that we are going to talk about in this blog is the wicked social media.

Social media disorder (SMD) refers to excessive use of social networking platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat, which could lead to negative impact on mental health, relationships, and creativity. Individuals may spend significant amounts of time scrolling or posting, often at the expense of real-life interactions, focus, and responsibilities. Symptoms include anxiety when unable to use phones, distress on account of insufficient likes, and difficulty concentrating on things that really matter.

Are you the locked cat?

A pet cat was locked in a room with a red button, merely larger than the cat’s paw, and a container with cat food inside. After hours of trying to break open the container with its paw, the cat finally learned that pressing the button would dispense food. The food though, did not dispense after every click…only a single treat after 5-6 clicks. So, the cat kept on pressing the button till the treat arrived, took a moment to enjoy it, and then went back to pressing the red button, even when it wasn’t really hungry. Pressing the button and getting the treat, though annoying, was addictive enough to keep the cat engaged. Even after the room was unlocked, cat kept on compulsively fidgeting with the button.

Now imagine you are the locked cat and the button in your locked room helps you scroll through reels on instagram. You keep scrolling until you find one post which satisfies you. It feels rewarding for a moment because the post matches your current state of mind or maybe you somehow relate to it. You take a moment, enjoy the post, and scroll again hoping for a new post that may make you feel similar to what you felt 5-6 scrolls ago.

The addiction chamber is designed to trap us…how to escape?

Mobile phones, especially social media platforms are designed in such a manner that they end up engaging us. Platforms like instagram and facebook follow a common theory of infinitism. No matter how much you scroll, you’ll never run out of posts and thus, never get encouraged to stop.

Furthermore, these platforms analyze our activity and smartly use that information to keep us engaged. Let us assume that you are interested in basketball and comment on a post featuring the same. You’ll observe that from that day onwards, more and more posts regarding basketball will pop up on your feed. That definitely is clever as it paralyses us into ‘never ending scrolling’ as the posts match our interests and seem entirely customizable.

Addiction is increased by features like notifications, creating a cycle of dependency. The most important measure that can be taken to break this vicious cycle is by avoiding such notifications. Notifications that involve people reaching out to you such as calls and texts should be prioritized but the rest of the notifications sent by apps to allure us ought to be strictly muted. They are sent to stimulate our interest and once again, practically force us to start scrolling.

Next sharp tactic of the inventors is the color coordination. Humans are attracted by warm tones, such as red. This is the reason most of the apps have changed their icon color to a warmer tone. This is also the reason that the direct message icon in instagram is red in colour. If it were blue or yellow, would it have been as appealing as it is now? To escape this, one can always put their phones in grayscale settings.

Interruptions should be set! Either set alarms or reminders on your phone to make sure that you don’t become a victim of the infinite scrolling. Apps will not help you but you yourself need to understand that only you can put an end to this. This also involves monitoring your screen time frequently.

If you can hear phantom vibrations, it is time to hit the emergency button!

Have you ever experienced a vibration and thought that maybe it was your phone sending a notification but it actually wasn’t? 89% of the people have agreed to the fact that they experience this atleast once every 2 weeks

This makes us wonder what an impact social media and generally mobile phones have on us. Illusions of vibrations? That is where everyone should draw the line. We need to understand that we are much smarter than the cat and need to severely end this addiction. Is social media and online scrolling really worth losing your hard built self-esteem and focus? Think about it!

Twisted Pygmalion connect between expectations & reality!!

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Every aspect of life has a story behind it, the Pygmalion effect beholds one too. Back in the day, the Greek sculptor Pygmalion had once, sculpted a woman out of ivory. Absolutely in awe of what he had just created, he turned the woman from a common to a personal noun and gave her the name ‘Galatea.’ There was no denying in the fact that he was profoundly, and deeply in love with ‘it.’ Inspired by his love, Aphrodite – the goddess of Venus decided to do him a favor and brought his significant other to life.

But why are we discussing Pygmalion & his love for Galatea … what is the relevance of this Greek anecdote today??

Pygmalion was so deeply obsessed with his sculpture that he imagined that the creation was a living person. His imagination or rather his obsession was so grave that the goddess granted his wish and in effect the sculpture indeed became a living person.

If we look at the situation from an aerial view, who gave life to Galatea? The Greek goddess or the creator Pygmalion’s love??

There’s a Pygmalion in all of us … we birth our reality as per our desires!!!

How is the Pygmalion and Galatea’s story connected to us, our situations? It was Pygmalion’s expectations which, in the first place motivated him to craft such a sculpture and inspired Aphrodite to bring Galatea to life.

In simpler words, the Pygmalion effect is a psychological phenomenon wherein our expectations from a person push that person to behave in the way we desire. Thus we decide the result beforehand and work in the direction to achieve it, which eventually leads to the same result.

Expectations = Behaviour = Result as per expectation.

To understand better, consider the experiment below:

An experiment regarding this subject was held in a school in a district of Mexico. Students were separated in two groups and they were led to believe that those in group A were better in terms of their ability & skills to read and thus were intelligent. Group B was also informed about this division criterion.

This made the students believe that A group had high expectations set from their respective teachers whereas the other flock believed that they had failed to make the teachers proud. This resulted in the first group, showing better academic excellence in comparison to the other, which withered.

How can it help??

The above mentioned phenomenon has several real life implications too. It can be used by seniors to motivate their unit to complete a project by setting high standards and expectations. It can be used by parents to make sure that their children score well in their upcoming exams and furthermore, it can also be smartly and statistically used by coaches to help their players win. There are 3E’s that help create such a situation:

  1. Elect – elect candidates who are fit for such a role, candidates who will not be harmed by such a psychological deliberation.
  2. Expect – create expectations and certain standards for the people elected.
  3. Eye – observe carefully how it affects them and their results.

Pygmalion effect sounds interesting, but is it ethical? Let us consider the Mexican school – study once again. The first group definitely improved but what about the second? It compromised one entire year of their academic lifespan and destroyed their confidence.

This leads us to the discovery of the Golem effect, also called the Pygmalion fall, which states that reduced expectations lead to diminished results. Both the effects are like two sides of a coin.

The golem effect is the segment of the Pygmalion effect which causes several drawbacks. It leads to a certain stereotype threat, a situation where people belonging to certain communities feel more vulnerable to conforming to stereotypes regarding their gender, caste, and status, hampering equality and perpetuating discrimination, especially in the cases of gender. Furthermore, it has a significant role in creating insecurities between siblings who go through what is commonly called ‘favoritism.’

This brings us to the commonly asked question, “Is the Pygmalion effect self-validating?”

The effect does create a condition where the expectations set do modify the final outcome. In other words, in such an event, an individual’s expectations about another person eventually result in the other person or entity acting in ways that confirm such expectations. So ultimately, yes, it can be called self-validating.

“Before we acquire great power, we must acquire wisdom to use it well.”

As for a final feedback, the Pygmalion effect may seem intriguing at some point, and may be a part of our daily life, but it needs to be controlled and used properly to make sure that there are no casualties, that is, no victims of the fall, or the Golem effect. All that glitters, after all, isn’t gold.

Is worshipping important – explaining religion to kids

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Do we impose … make rules or let them explore & decide for themselves!

I grew up in a fundamentally religious household. Like a typical pious Indian home, mornings were marked by devout prayers and evenings were filled with the aroma of scented incense sticks and dhoop cones. Bhajan and kirtan events were regular part of the lifestyle. At least 3-4 days of the week were considered auspicious and marked by temple visits and abstinence.

The conundrum – where do we stand?

As decades passed and generational roles changed, this pattern too underwent a transition. In order to keep pace with the changing lifestyle and on account of intelligence handed out by movies like Oh my God!, cultural norms took a shift. Following the established sanctimonious rituals, no longer seemed relevant. A tendency to question, to find out more arose. What is religion? Who is god? What are the parameters that separate one religious group from another? And to top that all, who are these new gen religious gurus? Where do they stand in the schema of spiritual things?

The answer to these questions is way too complicated to be encapsulated in this meagre post. Clarity in this direction requires immense research, self-awareness and most importantly courage to accept the unconventional. But who has the time…???

Honest questions – curiosities of a kid

Now that we aren’t sure of the answers, how do we explain our kids? My daughter asked about the Ram Mandir tussle and aroused questions that went deeper into ‘The Ramayana’. She also pointed out that there in fact is more than one version of this famous sacred scripture. There are different narratives and corresponding subtexts.

Stated is just an example; kids these days are questioning the entire schema of things. Especially with inter caste marriages, understanding the varying prerogatives is further complicating the already entangled scenario.

So what do we do? How do we handle the kids’ relationship to religion?

Listed below are few recommendations; your opinions might wary & suggestions are most welcomed:

  • Don’t school, offer the setting to experience, explore and believe – Faith cannot be forced and believing demands emotional investment. Provide the setting for the same by accompanying your kid to places of religion and exposing the varied scriptures. Let them navigate and pick a path.
  • Use religious holidays to explain the associated history and celebrate with a dose of culture. Explain the rituals and relevance of traditions being followed. Be it Diwali, Eid, Guru Purab or Christmas or any other religious day of celebration, make sure to introduce your child to the varied colorful facets.
  • We need faith, we need to believe in a greater power that guides. It doesn’t necessarily mean that god has to have a face. Talk about the force of greater good.
  • Don’t force religion down your child’s throat. If you push them to attend daily prayers at a time when their friends are out playing, an unwanted repulsion would be the byproduct.
  • Be willing to accept change. As parents we must evolve and if a situation must arise, we must be willing to allow our child’s beliefs in a different direction. Acceptance is the mantra of a parent’s life.  

Depressed or distressed – know the difference … act accordingly!

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Depression is a very serious word, which these days is too casually thrown around. Be it boredom, heartbreak, work issues, lack of motivation or hormonal changes, the sufferer is tagged as a depressed person. Even for smaller meaningless stuff, like not being able to go shopping, phrases like I am depressed and need to get out, are chanted. Infact, it could also simply be a byproduct of too much overthinking. Just because you have time and nothing of much use to do, doesn’t mean you are depressed.

Know when you are depressed!!!

Depression isn’t something that can be cured by a chocolate chip cookie or a pouch of sugar. Buying new clothes or shedding a couple of kilos too cannot cure this problem. In a nutshell, if getting ready for a fun evening and chilling out in a nice café and posting pictures of you online makes it all better – you are not depressed; you just needed to get out of the house or stray away from typical work stress and you got that.

A complex medical condition, depression ought to be targeted with increased gravity. Just because you’ve been unhappy or lost for a few days at a stretch, looking for cures for depression isn’t right. But then are there any signs of depression? In other words, what are the symptoms of depression and how to identify them? What causes depression?

Signs of depression / common symptoms of depression

Consistent guilt / feeling of worthlessness – It is all my fault syndrome. The ones suffering from this challenging mental issue have a serious tendency to blame themselves for everything that isn’t perfect around them. Finding flaws and trying to improve is a good thing, but consistently carrying the burden of blame isn’t a desirable trait.

Complete withdrawal – Zero interest in anything or anybody is a trait commonly noted in people suffering from depression. This is different than no longer liking movies or unwillingness to go to a gym. Loss of interest is universal and applicable in the majority of situations. Just because your taste has changed and now you feel differently about your usual social circles, doesn’t mean you suffering from depression.

Other medical reasons – Many times people are suffering from other medical problems like thyroid, fluctuating sugar levels, BP, cholesterol or hormonal changes. One account of these issues, one feels fatigued, bloated or irritable. Sleeping disorder is also a common side effect. When clubbed with aging, these problems are often considered as a state of depression, however this isn’t the case. Depression does have physical implications like fatigue and sleeping issues, etc., but these problems aren’t necessarily indicative of depression. Only proper physical diagnosis can unearth the mystery. Thus don’t jump to conclusions and get the required clinical tests done.

Massive mood swings – You are perfectly fine and even a minor snarky comment from a colleague leads to an outburst. This unexpected emotional reaction, which you later totally regret, is a symptom of depression to look out for!

Suicidal thoughts – Wanting to end things is clearly a red flag. If you or anybody around is fidgeting with the idea, get immediate professional help.

Less common in Asians??

Studies suggest that Asians (Indians are part of this profile) are less prone to this critical problem. However, this could simply be a result of unavailability of appropriate measures to diagnose and / or lack of willingness amongst sufferers to acknowledge the problem and get help. Results of this underdiagnoses or misdiagnosis are increased severity of the situation, which in rarest case could also lead to suicide. Thus, best to get help.  

Are you a victim of Tall Poppy Syndrome?

by with No Comment Uncategorized

Tall poppy syndrome… what is that? Well let’s look at some questions to understand better:

Do they hate you because you are too good? Is everyone targeting you because you are successful? Is jealousy driving criticism? Are you being sidelined because your qualities spread insecurities in others? Is your charisma bothering your professional and personal acquaintances?

If the answer to these questions is affirmative then you are a victim of tall poppy syndrome.

The formal definition

As the name suggests, this disorder is related to the height. Well not in literal terms, but figuratively speaking, this is a condition in which people who are successful are targeted for being just that. If those around you believe that you are doing well for yourself and have the desired qualities, they are filled with extreme criticism and are eventually driven by tendencies to cut you down.

In simpler terms, you are hated for being good and thus eventually served with unwarranted opposition and societal disapproval.

Cutting down the tall poppy

The key problem with tall poppy syndrome is the reaction it incites. People have a natural inclination to cut the tall poppy; in other words to ridicule and kill the competition. There is a deliberate attempt at bringing down the one who has the capability to shine. It is a human need to be better than the others and instead of working on ourselves we tend to bring down the ones who are better. A sense of equality prevails when we cut down the tall poppy.

The disorder exists everywhere

Be it professional circles or your personal life, victims of tall poppy syndrome can be seen everywhere. While the term has been coined to illustrate the situation of successful people in working circles, its application is quite evident in personal social circles as well. In fact, the disorder silently creeps in and touches all irrespective of age and gender.

For example, take the case of a teenager. Imagine a kid who is doing well in school, is popular amongst teachers and kids alike, is quite sociable and looks pleasant. There would be an immediate impulse in many to find faults with this child and perhaps create a hostile environment to irritate the innocuous kid.

Consider another situation where you are at a social dinner. There’s this woman who is radiating charisma and her charm is adding spark to the conversations. There would be an unconscious impulse to find flaws in her and perhaps contradict her opinions.

In fact, when we talk about professional circles, tall poppy syndrome sneaks in every nook and corner. If a worker is accomplished and is determined to do well, peers and superiors both feel threatened. A chain reaction is sparked by this insecurity and resentment. All others get into action and put their best foot forward to cut this tall poppy. Be it by showing aggressive tactics or playing subtle behind the back office politics, all around this successful person are intrinsically motivated to push down the tall poppy.