Twisted Pygmalion connect between expectations & reality!!

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Every aspect of life has a story behind it, the Pygmalion effect beholds one too. Back in the day, the Greek sculptor Pygmalion had once, sculpted a woman out of ivory. Absolutely in awe of what he had just created, he turned the woman from a common to a personal noun and gave her the name ‘Galatea.’ There was no denying in the fact that he was profoundly, and deeply in love with ‘it.’ Inspired by his love, Aphrodite – the goddess of Venus decided to do him a favor and brought his significant other to life.

But why are we discussing Pygmalion & his love for Galatea … what is the relevance of this Greek anecdote today??

Pygmalion was so deeply obsessed with his sculpture that he imagined that the creation was a living person. His imagination or rather his obsession was so grave that the goddess granted his wish and in effect the sculpture indeed became a living person.

If we look at the situation from an aerial view, who gave life to Galatea? The Greek goddess or the creator Pygmalion’s love??

There’s a Pygmalion in all of us … we birth our reality as per our desires!!!

How is the Pygmalion and Galatea’s story connected to us, our situations? It was Pygmalion’s expectations which, in the first place motivated him to craft such a sculpture and inspired Aphrodite to bring Galatea to life.

In simpler words, the Pygmalion effect is a psychological phenomenon wherein our expectations from a person push that person to behave in the way we desire. Thus we decide the result beforehand and work in the direction to achieve it, which eventually leads to the same result.

Expectations = Behaviour = Result as per expectation.

To understand better, consider the experiment below:

An experiment regarding this subject was held in a school in a district of Mexico. Students were separated in two groups and they were led to believe that those in group A were better in terms of their ability & skills to read and thus were intelligent. Group B was also informed about this division criterion.

This made the students believe that A group had high expectations set from their respective teachers whereas the other flock believed that they had failed to make the teachers proud. This resulted in the first group, showing better academic excellence in comparison to the other, which withered.

How can it help??

The above mentioned phenomenon has several real life implications too. It can be used by seniors to motivate their unit to complete a project by setting high standards and expectations. It can be used by parents to make sure that their children score well in their upcoming exams and furthermore, it can also be smartly and statistically used by coaches to help their players win. There are 3E’s that help create such a situation:

  1. Elect – elect candidates who are fit for such a role, candidates who will not be harmed by such a psychological deliberation.
  2. Expect – create expectations and certain standards for the people elected.
  3. Eye – observe carefully how it affects them and their results.

Pygmalion effect sounds interesting, but is it ethical? Let us consider the Mexican school – study once again. The first group definitely improved but what about the second? It compromised one entire year of their academic lifespan and destroyed their confidence.

This leads us to the discovery of the Golem effect, also called the Pygmalion fall, which states that reduced expectations lead to diminished results. Both the effects are like two sides of a coin.

The golem effect is the segment of the Pygmalion effect which causes several drawbacks. It leads to a certain stereotype threat, a situation where people belonging to certain communities feel more vulnerable to conforming to stereotypes regarding their gender, caste, and status, hampering equality and perpetuating discrimination, especially in the cases of gender. Furthermore, it has a significant role in creating insecurities between siblings who go through what is commonly called ‘favoritism.’

This brings us to the commonly asked question, “Is the Pygmalion effect self-validating?”

The effect does create a condition where the expectations set do modify the final outcome. In other words, in such an event, an individual’s expectations about another person eventually result in the other person or entity acting in ways that confirm such expectations. So ultimately, yes, it can be called self-validating.

“Before we acquire great power, we must acquire wisdom to use it well.”

As for a final feedback, the Pygmalion effect may seem intriguing at some point, and may be a part of our daily life, but it needs to be controlled and used properly to make sure that there are no casualties, that is, no victims of the fall, or the Golem effect. All that glitters, after all, isn’t gold.

Is worshipping important – explaining religion to kids

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Do we impose … make rules or let them explore & decide for themselves!

I grew up in a fundamentally religious household. Like a typical pious Indian home, mornings were marked by devout prayers and evenings were filled with the aroma of scented incense sticks and dhoop cones. Bhajan and kirtan events were regular part of the lifestyle. At least 3-4 days of the week were considered auspicious and marked by temple visits and abstinence.

The conundrum – where do we stand?

As decades passed and generational roles changed, this pattern too underwent a transition. In order to keep pace with the changing lifestyle and on account of intelligence handed out by movies like Oh my God!, cultural norms took a shift. Following the established sanctimonious rituals, no longer seemed relevant. A tendency to question, to find out more arose. What is religion? Who is god? What are the parameters that separate one religious group from another? And to top that all, who are these new gen religious gurus? Where do they stand in the schema of spiritual things?

The answer to these questions is way too complicated to be encapsulated in this meagre post. Clarity in this direction requires immense research, self-awareness and most importantly courage to accept the unconventional. But who has the time…???

Honest questions – curiosities of a kid

Now that we aren’t sure of the answers, how do we explain our kids? My daughter asked about the Ram Mandir tussle and aroused questions that went deeper into ‘The Ramayana’. She also pointed out that there in fact is more than one version of this famous sacred scripture. There are different narratives and corresponding subtexts.

Stated is just an example; kids these days are questioning the entire schema of things. Especially with inter caste marriages, understanding the varying prerogatives is further complicating the already entangled scenario.

So what do we do? How do we handle the kids’ relationship to religion?

Listed below are few recommendations; your opinions might wary & suggestions are most welcomed:

  • Don’t school, offer the setting to experience, explore and believe – Faith cannot be forced and believing demands emotional investment. Provide the setting for the same by accompanying your kid to places of religion and exposing the varied scriptures. Let them navigate and pick a path.
  • Use religious holidays to explain the associated history and celebrate with a dose of culture. Explain the rituals and relevance of traditions being followed. Be it Diwali, Eid, Guru Purab or Christmas or any other religious day of celebration, make sure to introduce your child to the varied colorful facets.
  • We need faith, we need to believe in a greater power that guides. It doesn’t necessarily mean that god has to have a face. Talk about the force of greater good.
  • Don’t force religion down your child’s throat. If you push them to attend daily prayers at a time when their friends are out playing, an unwanted repulsion would be the byproduct.
  • Be willing to accept change. As parents we must evolve and if a situation must arise, we must be willing to allow our child’s beliefs in a different direction. Acceptance is the mantra of a parent’s life.  

Depressed or distressed – know the difference … act accordingly!

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Depression is a very serious word, which these days is too casually thrown around. Be it boredom, heartbreak, work issues, lack of motivation or hormonal changes, the sufferer is tagged as a depressed person. Even for smaller meaningless stuff, like not being able to go shopping, phrases like I am depressed and need to get out, are chanted. Infact, it could also simply be a byproduct of too much overthinking. Just because you have time and nothing of much use to do, doesn’t mean you are depressed.

Know when you are depressed!!!

Depression isn’t something that can be cured by a chocolate chip cookie or a pouch of sugar. Buying new clothes or shedding a couple of kilos too cannot cure this problem. In a nutshell, if getting ready for a fun evening and chilling out in a nice café and posting pictures of you online makes it all better – you are not depressed; you just needed to get out of the house or stray away from typical work stress and you got that.

A complex medical condition, depression ought to be targeted with increased gravity. Just because you’ve been unhappy or lost for a few days at a stretch, looking for cures for depression isn’t right. But then are there any signs of depression? In other words, what are the symptoms of depression and how to identify them? What causes depression?

Signs of depression / common symptoms of depression

Consistent guilt / feeling of worthlessness – It is all my fault syndrome. The ones suffering from this challenging mental issue have a serious tendency to blame themselves for everything that isn’t perfect around them. Finding flaws and trying to improve is a good thing, but consistently carrying the burden of blame isn’t a desirable trait.

Complete withdrawal – Zero interest in anything or anybody is a trait commonly noted in people suffering from depression. This is different than no longer liking movies or unwillingness to go to a gym. Loss of interest is universal and applicable in the majority of situations. Just because your taste has changed and now you feel differently about your usual social circles, doesn’t mean you suffering from depression.

Other medical reasons – Many times people are suffering from other medical problems like thyroid, fluctuating sugar levels, BP, cholesterol or hormonal changes. One account of these issues, one feels fatigued, bloated or irritable. Sleeping disorder is also a common side effect. When clubbed with aging, these problems are often considered as a state of depression, however this isn’t the case. Depression does have physical implications like fatigue and sleeping issues, etc., but these problems aren’t necessarily indicative of depression. Only proper physical diagnosis can unearth the mystery. Thus don’t jump to conclusions and get the required clinical tests done.

Massive mood swings – You are perfectly fine and even a minor snarky comment from a colleague leads to an outburst. This unexpected emotional reaction, which you later totally regret, is a symptom of depression to look out for!

Suicidal thoughts – Wanting to end things is clearly a red flag. If you or anybody around is fidgeting with the idea, get immediate professional help.

Less common in Asians??

Studies suggest that Asians (Indians are part of this profile) are less prone to this critical problem. However, this could simply be a result of unavailability of appropriate measures to diagnose and / or lack of willingness amongst sufferers to acknowledge the problem and get help. Results of this underdiagnoses or misdiagnosis are increased severity of the situation, which in rarest case could also lead to suicide. Thus, best to get help.  

Are you a victim of Tall Poppy Syndrome?

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Tall poppy syndrome… what is that? Well let’s look at some questions to understand better:

Do they hate you because you are too good? Is everyone targeting you because you are successful? Is jealousy driving criticism? Are you being sidelined because your qualities spread insecurities in others? Is your charisma bothering your professional and personal acquaintances?

If the answer to these questions is affirmative then you are a victim of tall poppy syndrome.

The formal definition

As the name suggests, this disorder is related to the height. Well not in literal terms, but figuratively speaking, this is a condition in which people who are successful are targeted for being just that. If those around you believe that you are doing well for yourself and have the desired qualities, they are filled with extreme criticism and are eventually driven by tendencies to cut you down.

In simpler terms, you are hated for being good and thus eventually served with unwarranted opposition and societal disapproval.

Cutting down the tall poppy

The key problem with tall poppy syndrome is the reaction it incites. People have a natural inclination to cut the tall poppy; in other words to ridicule and kill the competition. There is a deliberate attempt at bringing down the one who has the capability to shine. It is a human need to be better than the others and instead of working on ourselves we tend to bring down the ones who are better. A sense of equality prevails when we cut down the tall poppy.

The disorder exists everywhere

Be it professional circles or your personal life, victims of tall poppy syndrome can be seen everywhere. While the term has been coined to illustrate the situation of successful people in working circles, its application is quite evident in personal social circles as well. In fact, the disorder silently creeps in and touches all irrespective of age and gender.

For example, take the case of a teenager. Imagine a kid who is doing well in school, is popular amongst teachers and kids alike, is quite sociable and looks pleasant. There would be an immediate impulse in many to find faults with this child and perhaps create a hostile environment to irritate the innocuous kid.

Consider another situation where you are at a social dinner. There’s this woman who is radiating charisma and her charm is adding spark to the conversations. There would be an unconscious impulse to find flaws in her and perhaps contradict her opinions.

In fact, when we talk about professional circles, tall poppy syndrome sneaks in every nook and corner. If a worker is accomplished and is determined to do well, peers and superiors both feel threatened. A chain reaction is sparked by this insecurity and resentment. All others get into action and put their best foot forward to cut this tall poppy. Be it by showing aggressive tactics or playing subtle behind the back office politics, all around this successful person are intrinsically motivated to push down the tall poppy.  

Writing as a profession – the varied options you can choose from!

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Reading is no longer an in thing and if nobody would read, why bother writing? Well, the question seems justified; is there any point in writing anymore?

Ralph Waldo Emerson said that the writer is an explorer. Every step is an advance into a new land.

Creative writing as a learning & personal growth tool –

Stated more than aptly answers the question. Creative writing, for professional or personal reasons, offers innumerable benefits. Be it journaling or article writing or preparing notes for a fiction book, each and every word helps the writer enter a creative, intellectual territory. Furthermore, creative writing is an immensely important communication tool. Expressing oneself through words opens doors to imagination and wisdom. The art of writing builds discipline. Being able to pen leads to self-control and tutors kids about routine.

In addition to the mentioned, writing all thoughts in an organized manner helps find solutions. A well-articulated plan in writing has a much better chance of success. Furthermore, creative writing engages the brain most exhaustively. Together the analytical and creative sides of the brain work and help form ideas that creative writers deploy.

Words have the power to stay; they form memories.

Writing as a profession – it opens avenues!!

In addition to writing for personal development and creative expression, kids can also opt for the art of writing as a profession. Professionally, one can make quite a buck by writing in various capacities and across different industries.

  • Script writer – if you enjoy telling stories and enjoy the fascinating world of movies, script writing is the profession for you.
  • Book author – let your imagination run wild and let every thought find its way to the pages of a novel. As a book author you can experiment with various writing styles and pen numerous genres.
  • Ghostwriting – you write for others and make an honest penny. By helping others put their thoughts and experience in an interesting format, a creative writing career as a ghostwriter pays you well.
  • Journalist / News producer / Editor – add your own stylized masala to the world events and let the audience see from your scanner. As the creative writer behind a news channel you create and vet content before it reaches the outside world.
  • Website writer / Blog writer – this is yet another enchanting avenue a professional writer can explore. This creative writing career option offers abundant scope for flexibility and variety; collaborate for a blog as interesting as Conversation Club and each minute of your time is well utilized.
  • Proposal writer / corporate communications / marketing copy specialist – as a professional writer this is yet another avenue that can help you earn quite well. It is a well-paying position and top MNCs are always looking for new talent.

Stated are just the top few options. Writing is a field that brings with it immense possibilities. To add to that, this is one professional field where owing to the option of flexible hours, work life balance can be well achieved.  

Is your kid a gadget addict?

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Time to deal with your child’s screen time!

Kids, and to an extent us adults too, are becoming obsessively glued to our electronic gadgets. Be it the smartphone, smart watch or a tab or a laptop, unless we check the status or spend time scanning social media posts, the day seems incomplete. Smartphone screen in fact has now completely replaced the morning sun. Day starts by checking for new messages and we doze off to trending insta reels. Even mothers of 6 month old babies have their favorite lullaby song lists.

And the obsession is not all fun. Owing to this excessive, uncontrolled exposure to content, youngsters are falling victim to physical & mental torture. Their intellectual growth is being hampered and continual dependence on smartphones is discouraging creativity & initiative. In fact some online games have been banned for their addiction forming capabilities & associated side effects.

This has led to a serious situation and the concern is legitimate. Children are spending way too much time with their gadgets and this behavior ought to be curbed. But how … how do we prevent our kids from smartphones and other gadgets? How do we plan kid’s screen time? How do we manage the ever increasing obsession for gadgets?  

Gadget cleansing plan:

Merely fixing a schedule for permitted screen time is not the solution to the problem. Schedules are forgotten & ignored; what you need is a creative fix.

  • Begin by identifying an offline activity that your kid is interested in. For instance, there are special classes for kids where trainers indulge in activities like yoga / dance / pilates and more. Enrolling in such sessions offline, for even an hour, will keep your kid occupied for at least 2 hours a day (including time to dress up for the class & travel); not to forget the subsequent exhaustion, which will also help maintain the sleep schedule. Such classes, when attended under the guidance of a physical trainer, will keep them in shape and ensure complete supervision.  
  • Try the reverse psychology – Instead of blaming the gadgets and urging kids to stay away from them, encourage reading. Take your child to one of the fancy bookstores in a mall and let them feel glossy covers and shiny storybooks. Let them explore and pick as per their area of interest. Such a purchase will prompt deviation and shall boost creativity in kids.
  • Go old school – Encourage play dates, get together with other parents and organize group time. In such plans, make sure there are enough board games, playing cards, carom, crafty items and such playing equipment scattered in the room. Instead of lecturing the kids to stay away from their mobile screens, leave enough distractions around them. Rather than elaborating on the problems, keep alternate solutions handy.
  • Last but not least – set an example – set out an hour a day to bond with your kid, without gadgets. Strictly no phone and no TV; this will help with the detox process and also strengthen your bond with the kid. Communication is the key!

How to push an unmotivated child?

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Is there a simple solution to the complex puzzle??

Part I

65 marks aren’t bad mom … I’ll cleanup when I feel like and this is my room, let me be … Career? Sure I’ll do something, don’t nag me about it just yet! …I’ve been studying for half an hour already; what more do you want? … I am not fat, don’t body shame me mom. I’ll work out when I feel like and now is not the time.

If as a parent, you are able to relate with any of the mentioned remarks, then you are certainly dealing with a laidback kid. Younger ones can still be managed, but teenagers are an even tougher challenge. So how do we deal with the situation? How do we motivate children? What all practices or tools could encourage positive action and effort?

The science of motivation – it all starts at the beginning!!

Psychological research suggests that parents, guardians and mentors can motivate and promote learning. There is this whole science behind motivation that can be applied. Apparently, there are intrinsic and extrinsic drivers that enable the cause. As per research (citation source: working paper 14 Developing Child / Harvard), approach & avoidance motivation decide the response. In case of the former i.e. approach motivation, we are tempted to undertake a task if we feel that we will enjoy doing so. As for avoidance motivation, as the name suggests, we feel that it is an unwanted situation & thus react with a flight or fight response.

Sounds intelligent however what are the practical implications of these fancy terms? Is there a simpler way in which we can perhaps breakdown this scientific jargon and filter through it to an understandable solution? Let’s try and see how far we can go…

In layman’s terms!

Imagine you are 14 years old…

You have been invited to a Diwali bash at a friend’s place; your whole gang is going to be there and gossip about the fancy party is already buzzing on your phone. On the same fateful day however, an uncle too has planned a family dinner. This uncle is a really close relative and the older members of the clan really bit too well. He has kids your age and your parents seem awfully excited about the plan. Again imagine yourself in this hypothetical situation. For a few moments, do not think like a parent. Let the teenager in you overpower and analyze the factors that would decide the succeeding course of action.

If we breakdown the situation and attempt a correlation with approach & avoidance motivational drivers, quite naturally the kid would be tempted to make as many excuses to avoid the family get together. Conversations and behaviors over the next few days would be driven by excuses to drop out of the tasks related to the family event. As a parent, with limited knowledge of the upcoming Diwali bash at friend’s place, it all will appear as an attitude problem. But the underlying cause here is the overpowering avoidance mechanism, which is inciting the flight response.

To be continued…  

Are we allowed to be selfish … Is guilt part of parenting?

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Balancing our lives – individual vs. parent

What was your last vacation like? Did you dare to order yourself a couple of cocktails and thought of granting the parent in you a little bit of rest?

Or as a parent, do you compulsively feel obligated to be always there for the child and even a minute of me time seems like a punishable offense?

What is the definition of an ideal parent?

An ideal parent is one who is always available for the child. This ideal – godlike figure lends an ear when needed, physically offers all the support, is a highly understanding and rational human being who knows the child in and out and is always ready for emotional support and love. The definition doesn’t really end here … there’s more!

This perfect parent is also a super human, who while being available at all times, is able to work in a highly competitive world and is capable of managing all other relationship responsibilities. This parent is the financial provider and emotional support system for the rest of the family.

Quite pertinently, while managing all of the above, a modern day parent must also meet the societal tag of a ‘cool parent’!!!

The guilt trap

Parents are a kid’s role model and therefore they are obligated to comply with the strict parent code. However, this parent code or the model that defines the best parent, in itself seems like a guilt trap.

Take a typical mother for instance. If the woman decided to work, she’d be held liable for ignoring her child – who cares if she ever was ambitious and had aspirations of her own. On the contrary, if this woman decided to become a stay at home mom and be there, she’ll be held liable for not providing the much needed financial support – who cares if she will tirelessly work to save every penny for her child’s future.

Even for dads, the roles are no longer defined. Unlike ancient times, when their job was to get the bread on the table, they are now expected to play a highly evolved role. No wonder concepts like paternity break are under continuous scrutiny. Should dads be allowed a 6 month paternity leave? Shouldn’t they be allowed to spend time with the young ones? Isn’t a father’s bond as crucial as a mother’s responsibility towards their child?

Where does it end??

We’ll the grave encapsulation of the story is that it doesn’t really end. Parenting is a task, a responsibility that the parents always carry and irrespective of their decisions and preferences, the criticisms never end. Raising a kid used to take a village and with the new modern age family nuances, this village barely comprises 2 – 4 people.

Thus, remember that people will always judge and the parent inside you will never let you win. In this endless tussle, allow yourself a little break and let the individual live. That will not only help you emotionally elevate, but it shall also bestow the needed courage to be a loving parent.

Increasing gaps … broken bonds

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The need to connect || to converse || to express

A great Greek Philosopher Aristotle said that man by nature is a social animal. Other great minds added that without society man is nothing but an animal. And we all agreed until Covid brought with it the notion of ‘social distancing’.

This pandemic destabilized the entire equation. Functional relationships, as we knew them, were brutally butchered. Human beings or as Aristotle said, ‘the social animals’ were confined to four walls. But why are we talking about it now? Isn’t this a thing of the past?? Aren’t we back to normal?

Perhaps we are back to normal and life has resumed, but is it the same life as we’ve known? Are we the same people, surrounded by those whom we loved and trusted? Be it personal or professional associations, are we as connected as used to be? Well certainly not … the times have taken a toll; the distance that was imposed has pushed us apart.

Invisible Barricades

Gap, which medically induced isolation brought with it, left us weaker. It is beyond human endurance to deal with solitude and this pain that was inflicted years ago, is still ripe in us. We were forced to operate in isolation, be it weddings or mournful events, we were compelled to deal in segregated groups. This compulsive segregation broke us. And now when we are allowed to function as normal social animals, the impact of induced segregation is still inside.

Emotional Hiccups and Financial Burdens

What life witnessed in those times created self-centered attitudes. In those difficult times, isolation and the need to survive, coupled with loss all around led to loneliness and fear. Many of us lost those we loved and gaps further widened on account of job instability and economic pressures. The new work from home schema further aggravated the distance. The connections we had nurtured over years were suddenly burdened by the imposition of financial survival.  

End result – a heartbroken society!!!

The need to connect … to communicate …. to improve

Communication in any form is an assurance of a richer life. We need to be able to connect and establish relationships on both personal and professional fronts. We aspire to be able to associate with like-minded humans. Expression is an integral part of life. Opinions might differ, but the need to share them is universal.

Conversation Club celebrates the art of communication. We are a platform that cultivates the richness of expression. We encourage you to bond over interesting subjects. We invite discussions and inspire you to effectively share your viewpoints. We get together and bond over healthy discussions. The social need to express is nurtured here at CC.

Improve while you connect

As we engage in discussions around stimulating subjects, we also aspire to improve. Communication skills play a pertinent role in overall growth. Especially given the imposed breaks, sharpening your English language skills with a platform like Conversation Club can certainly provide the required boost. To be able to communicate effectively can change the dynamics of living and this is where conversation sessions at Conversation Club step in!

The growing silent generation!!! Why the kids no longer talk???

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In this era of DMs and snap chats, getting more than a ‘ya’ or ‘I don’t know’ or ‘whatever’ from a kid has become a gruesome task for parents. We’ve entered into a complicated schema of communication, where a child barely uses a legitimate structured sentence to express feelings or even answer a simple question like ‘why won’t you eat dinner with everybody at the dining table?’

Parents are simply getting frustrated over slangs and broken sentences. Children are no longer used to the idea of making a proper sentence, which answers the question. Try asking a 13 year old about her friends at school. One of the following responses is to be expected:

  • Complete silence coupled with a condescending look
  • Confused stare and few garbled vowels
  • Absolute ignorance
  • Intense look into the screen of the nearest available gadget
  • Exit from the interrogation room

What happened to the power of actual words?

Gone are the days when children used to go out and play with neighborhood friends. The times of endless discussions are a bygone era. In the current reality, hashtags and trending memes rule the communication pattern. In fact, friends and classmates are no longer a safe zone. Say something out of the ordinary and you are given a tag. From ‘nerdy’ to ‘weirdo’, all kinds of labels hover around and disrupt all communication channels.

Reasons why kids don’t interact:

  • The broken bond with words – Owing to the inability to communicate, kids are not able to express themselves. This inability to properly put their feelings into words leads to complete seclusion.
  • The growing competition & academic demands – Thanks to the ever increasing need to be better, we are nurturing book worms and cramming experts. The art of verbal communication and practical approach to living is dying in the process.
  • Defective communication channels – Children have been away from heartfelt discussions and easy conversations for so long that they no longer know how to express.
  • Veiled embarrassment & the fear of making mistakes – Children struggle, however they are too embarrassed to ask for help. It is fear of getting exposed as a loser that prompts isolation.
  • Scared of the reaction – Another communication challenge is the fear of possible response. It is anticipation of intense criticism that forces these young ones to go in their shells.

Provide a channel that promotes communication!

Communication cannot be forced. In fact, if we as parents / guardians / mentors ask too many questions, complete shutdown is the counter weapon. What is needed in this case is availability of a safe space to express and connect. Children are struggling with their inability to perform, to make friends, to overcome hurdles. If we in such cases force rules, that’ll only increase the gap. It is only through patience and persistence that we can encourage them to open up. At Conversation Club, we offer a warm and encouraging channel to learn and express. We welcome them to a space where they interact, open up and learn.