Is worshipping important – explaining religion to kids

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Do we impose … make rules or let them explore & decide for themselves!

I grew up in a fundamentally religious household. Like a typical pious Indian home, mornings were marked by devout prayers and evenings were filled with the aroma of scented incense sticks and dhoop cones. Bhajan and kirtan events were regular part of the lifestyle. At least 3-4 days of the week were considered auspicious and marked by temple visits and abstinence.

The conundrum – where do we stand?

As decades passed and generational roles changed, this pattern too underwent a transition. In order to keep pace with the changing lifestyle and on account of intelligence handed out by movies like Oh my God!, cultural norms took a shift. Following the established sanctimonious rituals, no longer seemed relevant. A tendency to question, to find out more arose. What is religion? Who is god? What are the parameters that separate one religious group from another? And to top that all, who are these new gen religious gurus? Where do they stand in the schema of spiritual things?

The answer to these questions is way too complicated to be encapsulated in this meagre post. Clarity in this direction requires immense research, self-awareness and most importantly courage to accept the unconventional. But who has the time…???

Honest questions – curiosities of a kid

Now that we aren’t sure of the answers, how do we explain our kids? My daughter asked about the Ram Mandir tussle and aroused questions that went deeper into ‘The Ramayana’. She also pointed out that there in fact is more than one version of this famous sacred scripture. There are different narratives and corresponding subtexts.

Stated is just an example; kids these days are questioning the entire schema of things. Especially with inter caste marriages, understanding the varying prerogatives is further complicating the already entangled scenario.

So what do we do? How do we handle the kids’ relationship to religion?

Listed below are few recommendations; your opinions might wary & suggestions are most welcomed:

  • Don’t school, offer the setting to experience, explore and believe – Faith cannot be forced and believing demands emotional investment. Provide the setting for the same by accompanying your kid to places of religion and exposing the varied scriptures. Let them navigate and pick a path.
  • Use religious holidays to explain the associated history and celebrate with a dose of culture. Explain the rituals and relevance of traditions being followed. Be it Diwali, Eid, Guru Purab or Christmas or any other religious day of celebration, make sure to introduce your child to the varied colorful facets.
  • We need faith, we need to believe in a greater power that guides. It doesn’t necessarily mean that god has to have a face. Talk about the force of greater good.
  • Don’t force religion down your child’s throat. If you push them to attend daily prayers at a time when their friends are out playing, an unwanted repulsion would be the byproduct.
  • Be willing to accept change. As parents we must evolve and if a situation must arise, we must be willing to allow our child’s beliefs in a different direction. Acceptance is the mantra of a parent’s life.  

Is your kid a gadget addict?

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Time to deal with your child’s screen time!

Kids, and to an extent us adults too, are becoming obsessively glued to our electronic gadgets. Be it the smartphone, smart watch or a tab or a laptop, unless we check the status or spend time scanning social media posts, the day seems incomplete. Smartphone screen in fact has now completely replaced the morning sun. Day starts by checking for new messages and we doze off to trending insta reels. Even mothers of 6 month old babies have their favorite lullaby song lists.

And the obsession is not all fun. Owing to this excessive, uncontrolled exposure to content, youngsters are falling victim to physical & mental torture. Their intellectual growth is being hampered and continual dependence on smartphones is discouraging creativity & initiative. In fact some online games have been banned for their addiction forming capabilities & associated side effects.

This has led to a serious situation and the concern is legitimate. Children are spending way too much time with their gadgets and this behavior ought to be curbed. But how … how do we prevent our kids from smartphones and other gadgets? How do we plan kid’s screen time? How do we manage the ever increasing obsession for gadgets?  

Gadget cleansing plan:

Merely fixing a schedule for permitted screen time is not the solution to the problem. Schedules are forgotten & ignored; what you need is a creative fix.

  • Begin by identifying an offline activity that your kid is interested in. For instance, there are special classes for kids where trainers indulge in activities like yoga / dance / pilates and more. Enrolling in such sessions offline, for even an hour, will keep your kid occupied for at least 2 hours a day (including time to dress up for the class & travel); not to forget the subsequent exhaustion, which will also help maintain the sleep schedule. Such classes, when attended under the guidance of a physical trainer, will keep them in shape and ensure complete supervision.  
  • Try the reverse psychology – Instead of blaming the gadgets and urging kids to stay away from them, encourage reading. Take your child to one of the fancy bookstores in a mall and let them feel glossy covers and shiny storybooks. Let them explore and pick as per their area of interest. Such a purchase will prompt deviation and shall boost creativity in kids.
  • Go old school – Encourage play dates, get together with other parents and organize group time. In such plans, make sure there are enough board games, playing cards, carom, crafty items and such playing equipment scattered in the room. Instead of lecturing the kids to stay away from their mobile screens, leave enough distractions around them. Rather than elaborating on the problems, keep alternate solutions handy.
  • Last but not least – set an example – set out an hour a day to bond with your kid, without gadgets. Strictly no phone and no TV; this will help with the detox process and also strengthen your bond with the kid. Communication is the key!

How to push an unmotivated child?

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Is there a simple solution to the complex puzzle??

Part I

65 marks aren’t bad mom … I’ll cleanup when I feel like and this is my room, let me be … Career? Sure I’ll do something, don’t nag me about it just yet! …I’ve been studying for half an hour already; what more do you want? … I am not fat, don’t body shame me mom. I’ll work out when I feel like and now is not the time.

If as a parent, you are able to relate with any of the mentioned remarks, then you are certainly dealing with a laidback kid. Younger ones can still be managed, but teenagers are an even tougher challenge. So how do we deal with the situation? How do we motivate children? What all practices or tools could encourage positive action and effort?

The science of motivation – it all starts at the beginning!!

Psychological research suggests that parents, guardians and mentors can motivate and promote learning. There is this whole science behind motivation that can be applied. Apparently, there are intrinsic and extrinsic drivers that enable the cause. As per research (citation source: working paper 14 Developing Child / Harvard), approach & avoidance motivation decide the response. In case of the former i.e. approach motivation, we are tempted to undertake a task if we feel that we will enjoy doing so. As for avoidance motivation, as the name suggests, we feel that it is an unwanted situation & thus react with a flight or fight response.

Sounds intelligent however what are the practical implications of these fancy terms? Is there a simpler way in which we can perhaps breakdown this scientific jargon and filter through it to an understandable solution? Let’s try and see how far we can go…

In layman’s terms!

Imagine you are 14 years old…

You have been invited to a Diwali bash at a friend’s place; your whole gang is going to be there and gossip about the fancy party is already buzzing on your phone. On the same fateful day however, an uncle too has planned a family dinner. This uncle is a really close relative and the older members of the clan really bit too well. He has kids your age and your parents seem awfully excited about the plan. Again imagine yourself in this hypothetical situation. For a few moments, do not think like a parent. Let the teenager in you overpower and analyze the factors that would decide the succeeding course of action.

If we breakdown the situation and attempt a correlation with approach & avoidance motivational drivers, quite naturally the kid would be tempted to make as many excuses to avoid the family get together. Conversations and behaviors over the next few days would be driven by excuses to drop out of the tasks related to the family event. As a parent, with limited knowledge of the upcoming Diwali bash at friend’s place, it all will appear as an attitude problem. But the underlying cause here is the overpowering avoidance mechanism, which is inciting the flight response.

To be continued…  

The growing silent generation!!! Why the kids no longer talk???

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In this era of DMs and snap chats, getting more than a ‘ya’ or ‘I don’t know’ or ‘whatever’ from a kid has become a gruesome task for parents. We’ve entered into a complicated schema of communication, where a child barely uses a legitimate structured sentence to express feelings or even answer a simple question like ‘why won’t you eat dinner with everybody at the dining table?’

Parents are simply getting frustrated over slangs and broken sentences. Children are no longer used to the idea of making a proper sentence, which answers the question. Try asking a 13 year old about her friends at school. One of the following responses is to be expected:

  • Complete silence coupled with a condescending look
  • Confused stare and few garbled vowels
  • Absolute ignorance
  • Intense look into the screen of the nearest available gadget
  • Exit from the interrogation room

What happened to the power of actual words?

Gone are the days when children used to go out and play with neighborhood friends. The times of endless discussions are a bygone era. In the current reality, hashtags and trending memes rule the communication pattern. In fact, friends and classmates are no longer a safe zone. Say something out of the ordinary and you are given a tag. From ‘nerdy’ to ‘weirdo’, all kinds of labels hover around and disrupt all communication channels.

Reasons why kids don’t interact:

  • The broken bond with words – Owing to the inability to communicate, kids are not able to express themselves. This inability to properly put their feelings into words leads to complete seclusion.
  • The growing competition & academic demands – Thanks to the ever increasing need to be better, we are nurturing book worms and cramming experts. The art of verbal communication and practical approach to living is dying in the process.
  • Defective communication channels – Children have been away from heartfelt discussions and easy conversations for so long that they no longer know how to express.
  • Veiled embarrassment & the fear of making mistakes – Children struggle, however they are too embarrassed to ask for help. It is fear of getting exposed as a loser that prompts isolation.
  • Scared of the reaction – Another communication challenge is the fear of possible response. It is anticipation of intense criticism that forces these young ones to go in their shells.

Provide a channel that promotes communication!

Communication cannot be forced. In fact, if we as parents / guardians / mentors ask too many questions, complete shutdown is the counter weapon. What is needed in this case is availability of a safe space to express and connect. Children are struggling with their inability to perform, to make friends, to overcome hurdles. If we in such cases force rules, that’ll only increase the gap. It is only through patience and persistence that we can encourage them to open up. At Conversation Club, we offer a warm and encouraging channel to learn and express. We welcome them to a space where they interact, open up and learn.   

Story threads to weave the mind and enable learning!

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Be it words or pictures, there lies a story, waiting to be told. Communication skills sessions and learning plan at Conversation Club revolves around the intuitive art of visualizing scenarios and weaving them into interesting narrations. Each of these narrations is an experience that the learner undergoes to explore possibilities, to ask questions, to absorb new words, to imagine distinct scenarios and to allow escape, thereby fostering creativity & learning.

If lessons were weaved as stories, they would never be forgotten.

How do stories aid learning in kids?

  1. Knitting together boosts imagination – Working with a story mate, building upon those abstract phrases and pictures together, fosters creativity and learning in kids. Young, unrestricted minds, when given the opportunity to engage and converse freely, open up towards new intellectual avenues and together explore the widened creative horizons. Learning becomes a collaborative mission and it is on this path that the adolescent mind blossoms.
  2. From theoretical to practical visualizations – Education shouldn’t have to revolve around tedious facts and formulas. True learning only happens when the mind and heart are intertwined and receptive to information. Stories help engage young audiences and build the apt communication skills training grounds. The flow of thoughts, linked narratives and the ability to venture in multiple directions, opens up new thinking avenues.
  3. Exploring the indefinite possibilities – Exploring abstract avenues and learning in an environment that fosters the idea of freely venturing into all avenues, nurtures creative minds. A close interaction with the fictional scenarios and mysterious characters prompts experimentation, which is turn educates kids and helps with personality development & enrichment.   
  4. Stories boost memory and cultivate retention – The exercise opens up new worlds and conversations. It stimulates thinking and enables comprehension of details, which would otherwise be difficult to retain. Through colorful depictions and word play, stories leave an imprint, thereby boosting the memory. Asking relevant questions, explaining new concepts through stories and engaging in rich discussions together stimulate retention.
  5. Nurtures social skills and empathy – The colorful world of pictures and braided words are an interesting way to introduce new emotions and social scenarios. Outside world is complex and while we dream to preserve and shield the young ones forever, it is only a matter of time that they’ll have to deal with the unknown intricacies. Stories act as windows to such alien scenarios. They help visualize situations and arouse feelings for characters, thereby promoting empathy in readers.
  6. Word play enhances vocabulary – There is a direct correlation between the world of stories and vocabulary. Learning new words through various story activities ensures understanding and retention. Story creators are able to effectively grasp the meanings of new words. The understanding helps them apply the learned knowledge. Enriched vocabulary play an imminent role in both professional and personal domains and the world of stories helps attain the objective.

Stories have a reach, they sink in. Articulate sentences and pictures get embedded in the mind. These captivating narrations are an effective learning tool and can be suitably harnessed to improve communication skills, educate kids and ensure personality development and overall learning.

Learning enablers @ Conversation Club!

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Words and our ability to verbally communicate is one of the most crucial tool available to humankind. While on personal front, we yearn to express and connect with like-minded people; on professional front, ability to get across a message, holds significant value. Be it seamless work execution or conflict resolution or performance measurement parameters, communication skills are a pertinent measurement criterion. We humans deploy words to enable, to heal and to emote.

However, it is not just any random combination of words that leads to communication. Effective communication skills rely upon the basic rule of coherent composition of the message and absolute transmission to the desired receiver, in a desired format. This is where the need for communication skills training arises. Communication is a skill which needs to be regularly sharpened and one where there’s always room for improvement. Communication skills training enables clarity of expression, imparts the eloquent style and lends a hand with empathetic articulation, which are all together critical at any given instance in life.

The relevance of communication skills training is underlined, but how can the objectives be achieved? Platforms like Conversation Club provide the solution.

Conversation Club is a platform that enables the opportunity to practice and improve. Communication skills learning & growth happens here through the loop of practice – feedback – correction – practice! 

Student teacher rapport

Trainers at Conversation Club are skilled at the art of communication and teaching. Backed by years of practical experience in communication domains, mentors and curriculum designers categorically focus upon establishing a rapport. Effective learning in communication skills or any domain can only happen if the trainer is equipped to understand and modulate the program as per learner’s intake. While one ought to be slow enough to ensure assimilation of information & interest, the momentum portion of the classes too needs to be cautiously managed. Trainers at Conversation Club encourage thinking and application, provide regular feedbacks, correct and thus ensure improvement in communication skills.

Assessment of the gaps and steps towards fulfillment lead towards improvement of communication skills!!!

Effective curriculum

We all have our own ecosystems. A student’s life has its own variables and these are quite different from the parameters of a working professional’s life. Depending upon our age, profession and interests, we all have different communication needs. If the needs are different, how can the solution possibly be generic?

At Conversation Club, the curriculum is designed to meet the specific requirements and is further customized to meet individual targets. Thus, there are individual sessions, where the trainer works with the student to fill in specific communication related gaps and clubbed sessions with other conversation partners, which provide the needed exposure.

Information Exchange or Communication??

There is a tricky difference between sharing information and actual communication. The former relies upon sending out the message to an individual or a group of people. Latter is about actually reaching out and getting through to the desired audience by way of effective communication. Communication skills training @ Conversation Club helps bridge this gap from information relay to actual communication.

Transform reading into a richer experience!

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When we read we open windows and doors. The exposure that books grant us, the perspective they help build, the imagination that is enabled, the intellectual caliber that is nurtured is unparalleled. Reading comes with immense benefits; especially when it comes to a child’s development, reading plays a critical role. However in the current era of endless online exposure, books seem to have lost their charm. Instead of reading an actual article, children are relying upon AI tools to summarize information for them. Busy schedules and over whelming academic expectations further add to the agony.  

Here is a list of all that a child is missing out on by not picking up a book to read:

Vocabulary

Parents more than often feel that their kid is not able to express. Instead of using apt words in a sentence, children these days are relying more and more upon crutch words for basic communication. A paragraph would typically be an overdose of crutch words like ‘but’, ‘something’, ‘and’, ‘so’, ‘like’ and more. This is indicative of a weak vocabulary. Researches have proved that kids who are exposed to a language i.e. by way of reading, tend to have a wider vocabulary base. Those who read more, by way of a better developed vocabulary, have an intellectual advantage over their peers.

Expand the horizon

Reading imparts a whole new canvas of creativity. Learning and imagination go hand in hand. Exposure to unknown cultures, societies, traditions and varied characters bolsters the mind.

Writing skills

Reading more has a direct positive impact on the reader’s writing abilities. By stimulating imagination and imbibing details about the correct sentence structure, reading enables writing.

Knowledge & life skills

While the education system focuses largely upon academic – subject driven learning, reading outside the school curriculum, brings with it lessons about the real life. Practicalities of the outside world are introduced by these books. Complicated subjects, that might be otherwise difficult to deal with, can be seamlessly navigated through books.

Learn life through characters

Reading age appropriate books helps these young learners live vivaciously. Challenges faced by the characters helps readers connect with them. Problem solving skills too are developed and there’s an inclination to deal with day to day problems in a pragmatic way.

The CC program reading structure

At Conversation Club we are invested in inculcating reading as a habit. This is a rich experience and only with the help of right ingredients, complete benefits can be absorbed.

We begin with an assessment of areas and topics that spark interest. The passions once identified are nurtured through relevant discussions. Suitable reading material is simultaneously identified and sessions are customized around the subject. Gradually the learning base is expanded to include varied subjects and thus instill learning through a wider curriculum. Furthermore, trainers question the subjects read by the students, they review the paradigm of the material, promote analysis and unlock the content, thereby harnessing the critical thinking skills. A close eye is kept on the subjects being read, which is critical to ensure apt development of these young minds.

Mnemonics for English Vocabulary & Memory Enhancement!

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Don’t we all wish there was a simpler way to retain the information; be it new words or never ending historical facts. Learning English and improving communication skills would be much easier if a memory tool could aid with vocabulary. Well certainly it would be and there are many techniques out there, which have been tried by many including mnemonics.

What is Mnemonics??

The concept, especially in the words of Oxford Dictionary, sounds a bit intimidating. The definition goes like this – the study and development of systems for improving and assisting the memory.

As it seems, mnemonics is some kind of a technique, that needs to be studied and systems have to be developed and implemented … well if it is this complicated, might as well learn the concept as it is.

Let us not allow Oxford to haunt us and let the British be with their fancy nomenclature. How about a simpler version of the stated – mnemonics are simply strategies that help retain information.  There are multiple mnemonic techniques that enable the objective and can be effortlessly comprehended and implemented; for instance songs & music. Advertisers have long been relying on this mnemonic strategy for building a customer base and ensuring long term association. No wonder we are able to hum songs from old movies that we perhaps watched when we were kids.

Learning English with Mnemonics

Well if the technique is so popular and has been used in various other fields, why not try this memory tool to brush up your vocabulary.

Vocabulary or new words in English or for that matter in any language are essential to add depth to the overall communication skills. Being able to remember words and use them in day to day conversations is a skill that we all wish to possess. Amongst the various other exercises, mnemonics can certainly help retain the meaning of new words and thus improve listening. This is in fact the first step towards English vocabulary enhancement. A learner in his / her initial stages, is able to recognize new words and perhaps decipher their meanings. Once the meanings settle in, comes the stage when one is able to use these words. It is a task that demands patience and continual effort and mnemonics can certainly help build the base.

How???

Illustration 1

Wistful – regretful / nostalgic / longing

Mnemonic – full of wish (left unfulfilled)

Illustration 2

Abase – humiliate / degrade

Mnemonic – Push off the base (push somebody down)

In addition to the word associations, rhymes, pictures and more can be used. One can further relate words with their own experiences and circumstances to enable retention. The notion is to get used to a word, to add it to one’s system and let it grind. Once the technique is repeated often enough, the words begin to occupy their special places in your head. The next time you hear the word, it resonates and while you might not remember the exact meaning, you know that the word you just heard, isn’t an alien. The familiarity deepens every time you check the meaning and correlate it with the mnemonic key. Eventually comes the stage when you are able to not just understand the word, but are also able to proficiently use it in your English conversations.

#memory, ##memory, ##memory, ##memory, ##memory, ##memory, ##memory, #

What your kid watches & reads matters!

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We all crave to be part of society and to belong to social groups that adhere to certain standards. Like us, kids too have the impulse to attach themselves to various social groups and thus belong to a space that they feel is safe. But how do they do this?

Psychologists have conducted various studies over the years and research have led to the findings that point towards a child’s tendency to imitate. To feed the essential need of belonging to a system or in other words to coexist, children tend to copy. To this end, while parents play a critical role, peers, role models and quite importantly media acts as a major influencer.

The role of environment

Our brains tend to replicate behavior from an early age. As we grow, we mimic the people we interact with or are exposed to and thus from early childhood years, our personality tends to depend upon the factors that frame our environment.

It is thus of imperative value that from the very beginning we present a nurturing & learning environment. Our young ones rely upon us for their growth and as parents, it is our duty to ensure that the learning progresses in a holistic manner.

Expose them to the environment that harnesses growth

At Conversation Club, an important objective of the communication curriculum is working around a model that inculcates positive reinforcement by way of discussions. The discussions are based on topics that require research and reading. Furthermore, children are encouraged to watch and discuss. The discussions are targeted towards enhanced learning. Moreover, these activities boost creativity and impart them with an expanded vision about various relevant subjects.

Enriched knowledge gained during these sessions also helps them with the academic curriculum. Each session is circled around topics of interest. The involvement of conversation partners, coming from similar age backgrounds, acts as a positive encouragement. Kids when exposed to this healthy environment of learning & discussing, tend to positively imitate their peers and connect over subjects that illuminate.

The communication platform further inculcates the various aspects of learning English and thus acts as a strong education tool. Language experts guide them through the nitty-gritty of the language. Vocabulary, grammar, presentation techniques, sentence structuring and more are paid adequate attention. Alongside reading, watching & narrating, listening to these educated discussions further strengthens the progress. These positive cues encourage participation, which in turn yields the desired results.

Imitation is invariable! Irrespective of the positive or negative nature of influencers, kids will invariably imitate. Studies have proven that it is a human urge to be part of a group and in the case of kids, the groups they chose have a very strong impact on their personalities & thus growth. While you cannot possibly control or supervise your kid at every hour of the day, exposing the child to a positive influence through Conversation Club is certainly a start. Here the discussions are aimed at learning the language and participating in a rich scholarly environment.  

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A bridge to the Art of Reading

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Unlock your child’s imagination with reading based discussions

Reading stimulates learning, reduces stress, increases vocabulary and expands thinking and yet it is an art that seems to be getting extinct. Despite the well-known and extensively researched positives of reading, these days we hardly get to see anyone devoting enough time to imbibe the valuable treasures hidden in a book. Gone are the days when people spent their commuting time reading books and magazines. Smart phones have led to an era when reading more than 5-7 lines seems a cumbersome task and people simply move on to the next post. Scrolling through reels, digesting the quote of the day, skimming the headlines and perhaps listening to a podcast pretty much summarizes the content intake routine of any typical human being these days. While the trend is spreading like a virus, younger generations are the most severely impacted.

The purpose of reading

The goal of reading is to comprehend and assimilate the content. Be it for entertainment or educational purposes, unless the reader is able to take in the desired information, reading is a futile task. It is a psychological event, which is critical for a learner of any age and from any background.

When it comes to sharpening communication skills and thus the ability to interact and present oneself in a language of choice, reading text greatly promotes the objective. In fact, reading skills are critical for academic endeavors.

  • Reading can stimulate thinking abilities & mental functioning.
  • Mental stress can be largely relieved by indulging in this activity.
  • Vocabulary and grammar applications of the language can be well assimilated by reading.
  • Books enhance memory and promote insights into varied subjects. The overall knowledge pool expands by reading.
  • Concentration levels too are positively affected by reading.
  • Regular readers are better writers.
  • Books are windows to so many worlds; reading expands horizons.

Discussions @ Conversation Club

The above mentioned benefits of reading work best when the collated information is discussed in a stimulating environment. This is a learning platform where reading based discussions are an integral part of the curriculum. Learning the English language critically motivates learners to spend time with books and magazines. Interesting subject matter is identified and the learners are motivated to invest time and read relevant material. These materials form the basis of discussions in subsequent sessions. The exchange of knowledge, based upon the reading tasks, greatly enhances a learner’s capability to grasp the nuances of the English language and at the same time, enriches the knowledge pool.  

The benefits of these reading based discussions are universal to all age groups and profiles. Young kids develop a habit of spending time with books, which greatly helps their concentration levels and prepares them for academic pursuits. In addition to the stated, knowledge bank helps improve thinking skills and further creates a favorable mindset to gel in social settings.

Amongst adults, reading offers a self-managed pace of learning. The option of viewing and reviewing the information as many times allows a flexible intake pace.  Once the grasping skills are enhanced, reading helps retain and improve concentration skills.

Thus the learning English sessions and communication skill classes at Conversation Club strongly advocate the art of reading. In fact, mentors pick enthralling subjects and thus motivate English language enthusiasts to communicate effectively.

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