Why do we all want that super kid?? Let’s normalize being normal

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It’s the time of the year marked by board results, entrance exams, college admissions and consequently palpating anxiety amongst parents and children. While on one hand we all want what is best for our kid, on the other, there’s this ever bloated need to compete and prove that our kid is indeed the best. Even a score in the 90s could be considered bad if Guptaji’s or Sharmaji’s daughter managed to secure more.

The nonsensical – glorified ‘winner child’ trophy

Well first of all, this silly race, which inadvertently all Indian parents seem to get into, is not restricted to academic conquests. It is not just about high scores or grades; we need our kids to be simply the best at everything. Be it athletic pursuits or knowledge about the latest online apps, socializing amongst the ‘in circles’ or being appropriately aware and woke, we want them to be on top of their game.

The ideology is pretty straightforward – it is a cruel world and we’d like to establish superiority through our kids. While we say we do this to motivate kids and ensure they are ready for tomorrow, intrinsically it is like winning a trophy, every second of every day. We want them to post the reels for maximum likes and at the same time be smart enough to absorb all academic material and of course maintain the ideally acceptable physical appearance. And to this end, we compare, we push, we nag and end up creating space for toxic resentment.

Consequences of this insane, imaginary parent-competition…

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Stress
  • Broken relationships
  • Long term damage to child’s self-esteem and confidence
  • Insatiable desires

While we want the ideal child who is confident, comfortable, balanced, empathetic and compassionate, we end up creating an environment that reeks of toxicity, immorality, irreparable damaged bonds and self-hatred.  

The solution – ‘Acceptance’

This one word solution seems deceptively simple in theory; however, when it comes to practical applications, it is awfully complicated. In other words – easier said than done!

If you wish to foster relationships and raise a psychologically healthy child, try the idea of acceptance. Rather than incessantly comparing marks or trying to eradicate every minor flaw, accept your child in their own element. Excellence and creativity thrive in an environment governed by unconditional support and acknowledgement. It has been scientifically proven that if a child feels safe and nurtured, skills like learning and processing naturally develop.

Formative years are crucial

While it is pertinent to ensure a cordial environment, in the early years, it is especially critical. Aspects like self esteem and skill building, that are essential for success, are critically seeded in early years of kid’s learning and education. A child discovers the strengths best at a leisurely pace, in a safe environment. Parental resentment and flames of undue competition tend to burn this ideal learning environment for children.  

L R Knost beautifully summarised the idea in a few words:

It’s not our job to toughen our children up to face a cruel and heartless world. It’s our job to raise children who will make the world a little less cruel and heartless.

A guide to the CBSE career guidance portal

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Central Board of Secondary Education (CBSE), as part of the career guidance initiative, has launched a career guidance portal – www.cbsecareerguidance.in. The platform presents valuable career related information to students and is quite simple to use. The portal provides comprehensive information and is free.  Presented in this article is a simple walkthrough that’ll help navigate and make the most of this free career planning resource.

Steps to Register

There are two ways to start – you can register or login with an existing gmail account at cbsecareerguidance.in. We took the registration route and created a new account. Basic information was sought at this stage, including the name of the state, school and subjects opted in class 11th/12th. A verification email is sent and post confirmation, registration is complete.

Inside the Portal

CBSE career guidance portal’s welcome dashboard offers you 3 exploration options to select from viz., Career, College & Exams. Additionally, you can select your choices for the following couple of questions:

What do you like doing apart from studying your subjects?

Which subjects do you enjoy studying?

Once you answer these questions, career options in the selected category are provided. Let’s understand with an illustration. If we list biology as the preferred subject, the first career option is ‘Critical & Trauma Care Specialist’. Clicking on the option takes you to the detailed page, where the following subheads are covered:

Introduction to the field

What do you do as a career?

Future growth / how much you can make in this career

Career pathways (how to become a professional)

Certifications

Skills & aptitude

Placement companies

Links to external blogs & journal

Real life professionals

Technologies

Job designations

Tools at Work

Additional resources & more…

Alternatively, you can also go back to the dashboard and select career, college or exam icon to gather information about a specific query.

For instance, by clicking on the college option, one can search for various colleges providing a specific course, along with details like location, fee & rankings.

Pros & Cons

The website is definitely a brave and encouraging effort from India’s leading education board. Given the number of students who enrol with CBSE every year, this is certainly a much useful step in the right direction. Meaningful data, in quite a simple manner, has been summarised under one umbrella, which certainly makes it an easy to search portal. Especially given the plethora of resources, as a learner, it is useful to access a website that is managed by an institute of repute and is available free of cost.

A drawback however, of the website at this stage seems to be the lack of promised information under the assorted subheads. There are information gaps that still need to be filled. For instance, continuing with the selected career option, if we select the career pathway and choose the Post Graduation Degree link, the information doesn’t suffice. Just a broad category is mentioned, which doesn’t really help with the steps thereof and therefore, research outside the website is suggested. Likewise, details regarding all colleges and courses aren’t fully updated. Nonetheless, there are enough external links and videos to complement the research. In a nutshell, the CBSE career guidance portal is an evolving platform and can certainly serve as a decent starting point.

Tackling the English Language

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A word after a word after a word is power – Margaret Atwood

Language is a formidable foe and the certain way to win this battle is with the weapons of persistence and consistency.  Be it English or any other language, mastering the components requires effort and dedication on the part of the learner. A mentor can pave the way, but the eventual result relies heavily upon the student’s willingness to learn.

Tackling the English Language

Vocabulary, grammar, sentence structure and pronunciation are the key elements of a language. The pursuit in this direction entails working on these aspects. A structured approach, backed by diligence and consistent effort, is the key to enhanced English communication skills. In addition, you continually need to push yourself or find your motivation. Mastering the English language is a daunting task and often on this treacherous journey, there’ll be an inclination to give up. Finding the zeal in you will help improve your English communication skills.

Immerse yourself in the language

In other words, embrace the English language as if it were your mother tongue! If you pick a magazine, pick one in English. If you switch on the news, opt for the English channels. Find your shows in English or at least keep the English captions on. Even while playing games on your phone, switch to the English language. If you have to speak to a customer care executive, go for the English option.

Experienced mentors shall pave the way

In order to improve your English communication skills, you need someone to lead the way. While there is enough available online to help you improve spoken English, following a proper approach ensures success and this is where trainers @ Conversation Club can help. With CC to assist with the task of improving communication skills, the learning path becomes easier and shorter. Here’s how we can help students across all age groups and backgrounds:

  • Experienced mentors to guide – English language experts help you strategize the way forward. By assessing the student’s current competence levels and by identifying the key problem areas, trainers at Conversation Club help devise the suitable English language learning plan. The plan is customized as per the learner’s requirements.
  • Professional guides to help you stay on track – With the plan in place, all it takes to master the English language is determination to go on and this is where we help you achieve the endeavour. Through regular guidance, our skilled trainers reinforce the idea of learning, thereby enhancing spoken and written English skills.
  • A constant friend who corrects and helps improve – We offer you the practical learning experience and ensure correction at each and every stage. This hand holding makes the learning program a rewarding and interesting journey for English language enthusiasts.

Be it in social circles or professional spaces, the English language these days is a mandate. From school interviews to college applications to job interviews to seemingly simple society luncheons and dinners, a command of the English language paves the way. Conversation Club is your partner and we can together achieve the objective of enhanced English communication skills.

If you want to say something, you must find the words!

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If you have an opinion and would like a platform to share, we welcome you to CC.

Creative writing is an art, that greatly helps improve the communication skills. At CC we encourage the use of English language in all formats and thus are delighted to extend this writing platform to all.

You are welcome to submit articles, which we shall publish on our blog, with your name & email id. This is an exercise, which will help improve the communication skills and thus is an opportunity for all learners. The option is open for all age groups and backgrounds. We shall promote your work on our social media pages and you too can promote the published work by sharing the links amongst your circles. Share your opinion & encourage your children to pen their thoughts!

Terms & Conditions

William Wordsworth said, ‘fill your paper with the breathings of your heart’, our rule – ‘Don’t let AI drive your emotions’. The articles, if AI generated, will not qualify. Additionally, we strongly condemn copied work and thus plagiarised entries too will not be entertained.

All articles will be reviewed by our content team and once approved, will be published along with a media presentation (audio/video). The articles should be a minimum 300 words.

*We reserve the right to modify / reject any entry.

**This is not a paid opportunity & we do not provide any kind of certification.

For any further queries, drop a mail @ connect@conversationclub.in

Scorecard versus Real Life – The Marks Mystery

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Newspapers right now are flooded with pictures of students who have managed to score more than 90% in their class X or XII board exams. All schools and coaching institutes are advertising their scholars. After all, these educational setups are the ones preparing the next generation of leaders, professionals and entrepreneurs for us. God forbid if somebody scored less than 80%, the world might just end now. Wonder what Rancho from 3 Idiots has to say about this.

Do you remember your friends from school who aced in grade 10th?

Go down memory lane; even dig out a school photo if you have one. Now open Facebook or Instagram and see how many of those faces you recognize in your vast list of long-lost friends. Though their faces might be completely unrecognizable now, I am sure you remember a few.

The weirdly tall fellow who was always trying to hide in his corner desk cramped towards the wall. That pretty petite girl who was undoubtedly the class princess and object of envy. And of course, the teacher’s pets, who always thrived to secure top positions and never failed to answer any question. While you were still figuring out the question, they promptly raised their hands to answer. Exams were a battle for them and winning was the only option. Girls with long braids and boys with ruptured teenage voices, clinging on to their books, cramming it all up to ensure perfect scores.

Where are these academic geniuses in life now???

The evident ‘Hypocrisy’!!!

We talk about street smart and discuss the value of life skills. We act like the most open minded, intellectually qualified modern parents, who totally understand the relevance of true – deeper learning. As and when it suits us, we even blame the current education system and bring out all that needs to be changed or challenged. We claim to fully acknowledge the pertinence of practical growth and exposure in life.

But, while we love advertising our revolutionary beliefs, the true reflection of intelligence is still the school board exam SCORECARD.

We are the famous aunties and neighbours who pester kids about their marks in the board examinations. In fact, for a lot of parents, marksheets are currently their profile pics. We talk about an all-inclusive education system and yet when it comes to selecting a school, we go by the adverts promoting an age-old rotten rote learning system. Once the scores are released, we track down all the kids and find out their performance in board examinations. After all, marks in class 10th and 12th are the only true reflection of a child’s intelligence. If you do not remember the year Hitler attacked Jews or when the French Revolution reached villages, you are definitely doomed for life. Don’t you agree??

Truly skip the rat race!

If possible, for your child’s sake, make an honest effort and opt out of this silly competition. Life is a lesson we are still learning. There is a long way to go and how we prepare our kids today, will decide the outcome. Practical education ought to be the focus. Let them experience life beyond school books and tuition. Let them explore, make mistakes and gather pieces to start afresh! These marks will be forgotten, but the scars of this undue pressure won’t fade easily. Each child is special and full of possibilities. Ensure that there’s enough scope to experiment and weave a life worth living!

Don’t let AI cripple your kid

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Be it a simple mathematical calculation, an English assignment for school or for that matter the captions for a reel they are editing, children these days are simply unable to operate without the artificial intelligence tools.

Try an experiment to understand better.

Give your child a small writing task, could be a letter or even a text message in English, without the help of any online tool or search engine. Just leave your kid with a pen and a notebook and check the results. Even a basic task like the stated will turn into a mammoth challenge. Now let your child be in the room with a mobile or ipad or a laptop and try the same exercise. You will have your answer in minutes. Thanks to programs like Chat GPT, all answers are readily available.

Don’t confuse gadget friendliness with intelligence

My uneducated maid’s three year old daughter (doesn’t go to school) is able to operate smartphone seamlessly. She is able to scroll through reels and even save selected ones in playlist. Does this mean she is super intelligent?

We often hear grownups say things like kids today are so intelligent. Look at how comfortable they are with technology. Well of course they are comfortable with smartphones, Bluetooth speakers and laptops; these are akin to toys for them. Children now days are more exposed to gadgets than books. In an average Indian household, at any given time, the number of gadgets on a table will exceed the number of books or newspapers. So if they can operate the keypad efficiently or have exceptionally developed online surfing skills, it doesn’t qualify as an adequate indicator of intelligence.

AI is hampering creativity

If a few clicks can get you all the answers, why bother? Google, Siri, Alexa know it all. Why think … let’s just ask them!

This is the typical mindset of a child these days. Easily available information is making life easier but at the same time, it is restricting the thought process. Rather than thinking about the situation, kids are merely relying on automated system generated responses. Small things like reading a map / chart on the metro station to check the train route seem impossible; they’d rather check the phone for next station details. A child’s creative growth is being largely hampered in the process. Resultantly, practical life skills like problem solving and abstract thinking are taking a major hit!

AI is promoting an emotionally challenged generation

Since the kids are no longer used to the idea of understanding things and preparing for adequate responses, their ability to perceive situations and accordingly manage circumstances is largely being challenged. Owing to the nuclear family structures and working parents, most of the time these days is spent with AI tools, which leads to emotional development issues and creates problems like social anxiety. The dependence on texting is so much that rather than speaking with a person, they rely on emojis to convey the message.

Provide the needed Learning Environment

AI has caused way too much dependence on technology. This excessive technical engagement, coupled with reduced human interaction, is impacting the child’s intellectual and psychological growth. They thus need an environment where they are encouraged to think and express in words. A schema like ‘Conversation Club’, which is driven by emphasis on the art of communication is the need of the hour!

Communication Skills & Academic Excellence

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‘Envisage’, ‘social contract’, ‘resplendent’, ‘grievances’, ‘hoarding’… these are just a few words from the very first chapter of the history book grade IX. We’ve all heard our children crib about the complex and boring chapters. We have witnessed their struggles with learning. We have seen them cram up the material and often wondered about the fruitfulness of this exercise. I mean if kids have to memorize those hefty books and not remember a word after the day of the exam, what is the point of it all??

What if the child doesn’t have to memorize it all? What if instead of just trying to remember each and every word of the sentence, they understood the idea covered in the chapter and phrased the answer in their own words. Wouldn’t this understanding of the concept enable long term benefits in terms of academic success?

The stated is just one of the many benefits of improved communication skills in the life of students.

Communication skills for students – See your child blossom!!

  • Better understanding of the scholarly curriculum – As elaborated above, the most critical aspect of enhanced language skills is the apparent ease of learning. Kids who understand the language better are not forced to robotically cram up the lessons. Owing to the evolved communication skills, they comprehend and thus enjoy better understanding and retention.
  • Increased class participation – Being able to comprehend and rephrase in their own words allows kids to ask questions and clearly answer when asked. A grasp of the English language brings clarity and thus enables two way communication between the educator and learner. Comprehension of the concept being taught thus paves the way for enhancement of the oral communication skills.
  • Emergence as a group leader – The one who has a tighter grip on the subject is naturally awarded the central chair in group discussions and class projects. Other students display natural confidence in the kid who is able to explain and thus the opportunities to lead and stand out, naturally follow.
  • Improved performance in written exams – Clarity of the subject and fluent written expression help frame better answers and thus the desired scores. Improved written communication skills further enable structured answers to meet the examiner’s criterion.
  • Overall confidence and life skills – Together the stated facets reap confidence in a child. The verbal and non-verbal aspects of communication ensure a learned and confident approach towards all kinds of academic and non-academic situations. Being able to express allows seamless exchange of ideas amongst teachers and students and parents and children.
  • Enhanced personal relationships ­– The ability to express helps form the desired bonds with other students. Kids face a lot of social issues on account of broken communication. Over dependence on gadgets and AI has fractured their ability to maintain real world relationships and this is where Conversation Club mends the broken bridges.

Working on communication skills is akin to watering the roots of the plant. It is a regular process and with the right guidance and supervision, fruits of success can be reaped. At Conversation Club, we provide a customized curriculum for students wherein the nuances of communication skills are carefully clubbed with academic concepts and thus learning among students is largely promoted.

Communication Skills – The Essential Ingredient of Life

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What are soft skills?

Definition – personal attributes that enable someone to interact effectively and harmoniously with other people. Communication skills are an important element of the soft skills.

Communication skills in the life of a student!

Aman and Kriti are in the same grade and academically they are both decent students. In most of the subjects, they both score in the above average category and are usually ready with all answers. However, if you’ll ask teachers, Kriti will be the one they’d recognize in a batch of 40 students in the class. As for Aman, his report cards will reflect decent performance, but his participation in class and ability or rather the lack of ability to verbally express across various platforms ensures that he remains unnoticed. But how does it matter? He is a good student and will secure decent grades!

Well certainly he will perhaps score fine but his inability to effectively communicate will keep him hidden away from all opportunities. Despite being a hardworking student, he won’t be noticed or given a platform to perform even better because he is not able to display the knowledge that he has acquired by way of seamless communication.

Good communication is the bridge between confusion & clarity – Nat Turner

Communication skills in the life of a professional!

Who do you think will have a better chance at the interview, Aman or Kriti? Let’s consider a hypothetical scenario where both have completed the same courses from the same institution and have more or less similar mark sheets. As freshers, they are being considered for a profile that along with the technical skills, requires team work and reporting. Kriti, on account of the enhanced communication skills and exposure received as a student, will clearly outshine Aman and therefore her chances of bagging the job are higher.

Even if we consider a case where there are multiple opportunities and both get selected, the chances of Kriti working her way up the career ladder are much steeper. Any organization, irrespective of the industry or job profile, is seeking employees who can help integrate human resources and outshine as leaders. Honed soft skills, especially communication skills, help achieve the said objective.

Of all the life skills available to us, communication is perhaps the most empowering.” — Bret Morrison

Communication skills in relationships!

Relationships demand a lot of work and still many fail. While there are many reasons behind the troubles encountered by those in these failed relationship, a common denominator is the inability to express and understand each other. Communication isn’t just about saying, it is also about listening. In fact, an important element is the ability to listen and understand what the other person is trying to say. Additionally, one must be able to give appropriate words to the emotions they are going through and thus being proficient at the art of communication makes life much easier.

Ultimately the bond of all companionship, whether in marriage of friendship, is conversation – Oscar Wilde

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing – Rollo Reece May

Shhh!!! Mental health – don’t talk about it!

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Communication gaps and child’s mental health

If your child had a cold, you’d look for the right syrup in your medicine cabinet. If the kid hurt his knee, you’d fetch cotton and Dettol to clean up the wound. If there are lice in your child’s hair, you’ll search and buy the suitable anti lice kit. However, if the kid has trouble expressing himself or if the child is not able to understand in school or talk freely with people around her, the reaction is to either ignore the problem or scare them into performing better.

Why do we Indian parents have such a hard time dealing with mental problems? Why is it that instead of helping our children through these difficult times, we abandon them because of our own irrational prejudices?

The stigma associated with mental health

Stigma Meaning – A mark of shame!!!

My child cannot be sick!!! Do you ever say this to a doctor if your child is running a fever??

No … you instead look for the best doctor and avail the most suited medication for treatment. However, when it comes to problems related to their social, emotional or psychological well–being, it is all a hushed – hushed topic.

This lack of understanding, compassion and communication makes the problem even bigger than it has to be.

Mental health of children and young adults

Psychological issues do not mean that the person is mad and needs to be institutionalized or disbarred from society. They have varying impacts and in the majority of the cases, the impact isn’t severe. In fact, if treated well in time and dealt with cautiously, the symptoms can be managed and the issues can be gradually minimalized.

Communication & social skills of children suffering from mental health challenges

The communication gap is the biggest challenge when it comes to diagnosing & treating children and young adults. On account of the stigma attached with the problem, a large majority of kids facing these issues aren’t even diagnosed properly. Parents are too worried about their societal image and thus instead of assimilating the essence of the problem, they resort to evasion tactics. The desire to ignore and hide the problem allows the poison to spread.

Even the children themselves are scared of this ignorant public outlook and thus find it unsafe to share their problems with anybody. Their silence takes different forms – some face anxiety and depression, while others opt for a more stubborn approach, where they end up hurting themselves and others around them.

Foster an environment of empathy and acceptance

We the parents, educators and the community have to be more accepting. We are all mature adults here and it is imperative that we be more caring and empathetic towards the problems these children and young adults are facing. Mental health discussions aren’t and shouldn’t be considered taboo. As a society, we ought to grow and that shall only happen when we promote life driven by open conversations regarding all fields including mental health in children and adults.

Communication skills enable growth & mental health!

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Being able to express improves self-image and imparts confidence in kids.

Communication skills training is imperative for the young ones for numerous reasons. While better communication skills help in every field, when it comes to mental health, the ability to communicate effectively has quite a few advantages. For a growing kid, self-image and confidence are vital ingredients of development and these elements are strongly linked to the child’s ability to effectively communicate in his / her environment. Thus, when it comes to communication skills training, special attention from the very start is a mandate.

Communication gaps & mental health

It seems natural that kids talk and convey their message; so what is the whole fuss about communication skills? Well yes, kids talk and they try to send out the message, but the aspect that demands attention is if they are actually able to convey the right message, comprehend what is being said and what happens if they are not!

To understand better, take the case of an infant. The baby is too young to use words or sign language and thus resorts to crying whenever anything is needed. Parents eventually get accustomed to these signs and the baby’s schedule and thus comply as per their understanding to satisfy the baby. Eventually, this child is expected to make use of spoken words and adequate sentences to express. The growth seems natural and perhaps in the safety of the home environment and in the language used at home, kid is able to convey the thoughts.

However, as the kid grows and moves out into the real world, things change quite rapidly. From physical surroundings to people, from language to mannerisms, everything changes drastically. Further clubbed with competition and academic pressures, many kids find it quite challenging to maintain pace.

How can communication skills help maintain the needed wellbeing?

This challenge which is posed by the outside world, can be countered by enhancing the communication skills. Communication skills training works on a very simple formula.

Key components:

  • To be able to say / write the desired message using the correct grammar & sentence structure.
  • Ability to patiently listen to others.
  • Capability to hear and understand what is being said, including the meaning of unsaid words and used language tones.
  • Respond in an appropriate manner, using the right set of words.

Crying for everything might work for a 1 year old, but a 10 year old or a teenage does not have the luxury to simply replace words with sounds. An authentic expression of thoughts is the only solution to the problem. The mentioned components, when suitably mixed, provide the needed communication support for enhanced self-image and self-monitored positive expression.

Why Conversation Club for communication skills training?

The focus at Conversation Club is imparting the needed elements of communication, while strictly working as per the individual child’s needs. Customized practical communication sessions for kids ensure learning at a reasonable pace. We understand their struggles and provide a communicative curriculum that enables learning & development.