Balancing our lives – individual vs. parent
What was your last vacation like? Did you dare to order yourself a couple of cocktails and thought of granting the parent in you a little bit of rest?
Or as a parent, do you compulsively feel obligated to be always there for the child and even a minute of me time seems like a punishable offense?
What is the definition of an ideal parent?
An ideal parent is one who is always available for the child. This ideal – godlike figure lends an ear when needed, physically offers all the support, is a highly understanding and rational human being who knows the child in and out and is always ready for emotional support and love. The definition doesn’t really end here … there’s more!
This perfect parent is also a super human, who while being available at all times, is able to work in a highly competitive world and is capable of managing all other relationship responsibilities. This parent is the financial provider and emotional support system for the rest of the family.
Quite pertinently, while managing all of the above, a modern day parent must also meet the societal tag of a ‘cool parent’!!!
The guilt trap
Parents are a kid’s role model and therefore they are obligated to comply with the strict parent code. However, this parent code or the model that defines the best parent, in itself seems like a guilt trap.
Take a typical mother for instance. If the woman decided to work, she’d be held liable for ignoring her child – who cares if she ever was ambitious and had aspirations of her own. On the contrary, if this woman decided to become a stay at home mom and be there, she’ll be held liable for not providing the much needed financial support – who cares if she will tirelessly work to save every penny for her child’s future.
Even for dads, the roles are no longer defined. Unlike ancient times, when their job was to get the bread on the table, they are now expected to play a highly evolved role. No wonder concepts like paternity break are under continuous scrutiny. Should dads be allowed a 6 month paternity leave? Shouldn’t they be allowed to spend time with the young ones? Isn’t a father’s bond as crucial as a mother’s responsibility towards their child?
Where does it end??
We’ll the grave encapsulation of the story is that it doesn’t really end. Parenting is a task, a responsibility that the parents always carry and irrespective of their decisions and preferences, the criticisms never end. Raising a kid used to take a village and with the new modern age family nuances, this village barely comprises 2 – 4 people.
Thus, remember that people will always judge and the parent inside you will never let you win. In this endless tussle, allow yourself a little break and let the individual live. That will not only help you emotionally elevate, but it shall also bestow the needed courage to be a loving parent.