or
Yet another victim of the ‘parenting guilt trap’?
In a typical middle-class family, if both parents work, they are able to financially provide for their children. They can manage the expensive schools, fancy events, elaborate holidays and thus scrape just about enough to keep up with the demands of the high-profile socialite classes. However, if both parents work, who is supposed to raise kids? Working moms aren’t very popular amongst the righteous parenting groups. They fail to attend to all PTMs and struggle during the regular mom networking get-togethers.
Stated is just an illustration of the diabolical confusion parenting these days brings along. Rules seem to be ever changing. We grew up in an environment where it was rather normal for parents to scold or even slap the kids around. Now however, even raising the voice beyond a certain optimal level is frowned upon. We can no longer expect our children to help; on the contrary, they ought to be given space and ought to be provided with complete services and devotion. After all, they have sooo much to manage. It is inhumane to expect them to pitch in and help keep up the place.
While there is conspicuous chatter about children’s overwhelming lives and competition and emotional well-being … what about the parents’ mental health???
The invisible nobodies
Why isn’t anybody asking about how we are coping? Grandparents love their grand children and shower them with gifts and lovely anecdotes. However, when it comes to their own kids, i.e. the current parents, the older generation is super critical and nitpicky. We weren’t good enough as kids and now we are failing as parents. Neither of the two generations cares enough to at least acknowledge the woes of parents today. We are the ones trying to understand our kid’s emotional and social needs, while at the same time valiantly fighting the scars of our childhood. We are learning the changing rules, forced to adapt at an unbelievable pace and yet when it comes to appreciating the work, even a thank you note seems way too much.
Damning competition
As if the world isn’t difficult enough already, we stupid parents have further complicated things by getting into an unsaid competition. We are trying to be super parents and, in this race, ridiculously fighting for the top spot. That might entail horrifying shopping bills on stuff like Legos or the latest sneakers or following a super chill / super cool parenting strategy of allowing it all. What we’ve forgotten is that there cannot possibly be a “Super Parent”. This ideal person simply does not exist and thus wouldn’t it make more sense to exit this addictive spiral of self-loathing and head towards a more accepting life of a parent who is trying to learn with every passing day?
In an encapsulation, kindly consider this monologue a humble appeal to parents all around. Let’s just normalize the whole concept of raising kids and while we might not have the power to control any outside forces that impact, let’s be reasonable and stop competing with each other. In other words, instead of judging all parents around you and showering the lot with critical raised eyebrows, try and attempt a more understanding smile, thus leading to a breathable environment for parents all around.
Add a Comment